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Do you think that you're the first person to tell these ladies to get a "reality check"? Babies are great, but some people have a reality that is plain c___ppy. Top this off with tricked out hormones and crazy thyroids and there are very few people who can get out of this situation unscaithed. These women want to be happy. Inside they love their babies so much they are mortified that they have these down feelings. Many of these women pray for a way to "appreciate" the wonderful gifts they are given. The women on this forum are not trying to complain about their lives or make "excuses". Get off their backs!

i think i agree with what you are saying, but disagree with the way you are saying it. you are asking women who feel depressed or upset with their babies to sit back and think but i think it would be fair to ask you to do the same thing. i think there are plenty mental illnesses overlydiagnosed (like depression, add, and such) but i also thing there are some that are swept under the rug at a whim. bottom line, if a woman feels she is having a problem, she is having a problem. whether or not it is clinical depression is not for me or you, or anyone but a doctor (who is trained for this) to decide. granted, doctors are not always reliable, but i personally have found that instinct is almost ALWAYS reliable. ladies, if you feel like you need help. please get it. you, your babies, and the world will be better off if you do. its the ones who HAVE a problem but dont recognize it or are too afraid to admit it that we need to worry about. not the ones who are seeking help at the first sign of trouble. as a mother of a new baby, i dont personally think im clinically depressed (postpartum depressed) however, tell me to appreciate the miracle of life at 3am when i can't get my new one to stop screaming for absolutely no reason and you might think i was psycho for my response. hell, tell me that at 9 am, 2 pm ANYTIME OF DAY. i think my baby has colick and i am going abos___tely nuts. am i depressed? hell yeah im depressed! i wish it WERE all cakes and angels but i DID know it wouldnt be... i just didnt know it would be THIS bad because my first son was a total doll. y'know? so, to sum it up, i agree AND disagree with you. babies are wonderful gifts sometimes hidden in very frustrating packages.

I completely see both of your points of view and do understand. Like I said, this was just my opinion and I am in no way saying that the illness does not exist because I know it does and I can admire those that do something about it when recognized to avoid any drastic actions. I just wanted to put it out there because sometimes it really does just take someone to sit down and think things through to realize things are not so bad but with the way alot of doctors are so ready to just give everything a name and a pill to match, no one may have ever presented that option. I do not mean to offend or criticise anyone by any means and yes, maybe every single person on here has heard someone like me already and determined that the situation is much greater than this but then again, maybe someone hasnt and just a little reminder can help. When my daughter was screaming at all hours of the night and I was pacing back and fourth in tears myself, my DH would wake up and comment on how cute she looked crinkling up her face while she raised holy hell or how at times she actually sounded exactly like me throwing one of my fits. At first I wanted to punch him in the face but then I would stand back, look at her from his perspective and suddenly I could actually get a bit of a laugh out of it and I think that helped me alot and just maybe hearing it from me, can help someone else to rather than having a doctor just try to load them up on pills if not needed. Thanks.

you all have very good points here and i think it is true that we as mothers spend so much time worrying about the house, the bills, the chores, dinner, ect.. that we tend to lose sight of what really matters and that is enjoying time with our families. if the house is a mess, screw it. if a bill didnt get paid, so what? if dinner got a little burnt, whats the big deal? are any of these things going to matter 10 years from now? no but what is going to matter is the relationship you have with your partner and your kids so enjoy it, make the most of every minute. find the positive. the long nights awake with baby, make it your "special" time with them. even if they are whaling off the charts, sing songs to them and enjoy that they are there in your arms. have a baby that wont let you put them down and has to be held all day? guess what, 10-15 years from now, they wont even want you to hug them in public so cherish that they just want to feel your touch right now. if you look deep enough, you can weed out all the wrongs and find the rights!!!

At first this post got me really angry but the more i read it, the more sense it makes.

Thanks for the obvious Just me but until you have been on the other side, dont judge.

In MY opinion those who suffer from supposed PPD are women who are extremely self-centered, selfish individuals. First it was all about being a bride, then a new wife, and then a pregnant woman. And then, guess what ? It's not all about YOU anymore and never will be again. Get over it. Get over yourself. What about all the women who suffer from infertilify, miscarriages, deformed/handicapped children ? I feel for them. If you've had a healthy baby, you have absolutely nothing to cry about. You made a choice, now live with it.

To Miss Lisa who seems to always have something quick to say about this-First of all do you actually really think for one second that ppd is women who are selfish? Do you think that women are coming on here crying for help asking if they are alone because well they are just self involved. NO! Obviously not! These women are going through some chemical changes in the brain that they don't understand why it's happening to them. The need suport and help and in some cases meds. I think you sound very childish and uneducated when you talk like this. You have no idea about it obviously never knew anyone that has been through it or never been through it yourself. I don't wish PPD on anyone but maybe if you had a little taste of what it was like than you would quickly learn that it has nothing to do with being selfish and you might learn to stay out of this conversation.

PPD never existed before our 'Spoiled' generation. Seriously, just deal with it. Life is hard. Babies have been colicky for hundreds of years. Our generation is the first where women have actually had husbands who help, HAD access to online support, yet all you women just can't deal ???? Please.

Lisa, I have seen you offering unsupportive posts on PPD threads. You know it isn't helpful. If you've posted on the 'trying' threads you are aware that people can be unsupportive there also. Some people will say mean things like: "If you're not pregnant it's for a reason" or "maybe this is a sign!" or some even say things like,"you shouldn't be selfish, try adoption." Do any of these comments help these women snap out of their lonelieness...probably not. The ladies with PPD use the anonymity of the forum to express feelings they are often ashamed to express to their husbands, mothers and doctors. So please don't use the anonymity of the forum to say things that probably hurt already vulnerable people who have few outlets. They want to be able to cherish their babies. They are looking for help to do so. There are a few women who might use pregnancy/birth as excuses for their sadness, when really there is something missing in their lives that no perfect child rearing experince could heal. Unless you've been there, you can't be sure how a person feels, just like a person who has had an easy conception can't understand the feelings of a lady who is still trying.

Lisa, Just a quick note that PPD doesn't only affect your moods it affects your physical health, in my case i couldn't eat and i couldn't sleep (two things crucial for a new mum). I remember loving my baby so much I felt terrified that my ppd would get to a stage where I couldn't look after him properly. I had no family close by and was living in a new area where I knew no other mums. I left it too long but eventually sought help. I thought along the same lines as you. " I am so lucky to have been blessed with this child after two miscarriages, I have a wonderful husband, I shouldn't be feeling like this" I tried to carry on hoping I would get better as i became more used to being a mum I told myself "I am just going through a major adjustment give it time" however my local nurse put things in perspective when she said "if mum's not happy then the family isn't happy" I realised i needed to be on top of things to provide a great life for my baby so I got help (medication). It is very hard for you to understand if you haven't had it - but it's real, the same as having asthma or diabetes it's and illness.

PS Lisa I forgot to mention that post natal depression has been around and recognised for hundereds of years (according to my doctor) maybe in the past people didn't talk about it......so saying it's a modern disease is really proving your ignorance.

Thanks for pointing out that things like "melancholy" and "ladie's troubles" have been around for years. My grandmother was actually given shock treatment in the 20s after she couldn't snap out of a depressive episode after my uncle was born

It may not be a modern disease but it definitely is b__wn out of control nowadays!

Can you give an honest answer to this question? Why are you on this site?

I have a friend who just had her 2nd in 3 years, whose husband makes over $100,000 a year, who lives in a beautiful brand new house, whose only 'job' is to care for the kids and spend her husband's money making the house nice. She told me recently that she's suffering from PPD, how hard her life is (she is having SUCH trouble juggling the kids and the landscaper and her kitchen interior decorator) and is on medication. Maybe I'm just trying to understand.