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sunshine7610 - Hey girlfriend I'm back as well I had to take some time off as well and regroup. How have you been. I haven't had my surgery because I am still trying to get the money I plan on having it before the end of summer. I will keep you posted. Talk to you later and take care. Naomi98 - Welcome back and I can't wait to catch up maybe we should start our old group back up what do you all say or just start a new one. Talk to you later and take care. Krissy68

Mandy, so great to see you here! I felt bad disappearing the way I did, but honestly, it was so crazy and stressful after getting to Angola I couldn't even begin to describe what I was going through. Maybe you already read my post to Krissy earlier, but I was diagnosed with an ectopic after 2 weeks in Luanda. This was after being told the previous week that I was miscarrying. It wasn't until I got my hcg results back with 124,000 that the doctor finally sat up and paid attention. It was without a doubt the worst 24 hours of my life. During the u/s when they finally found the ectopic, I heard the heartbeat...it was unbearably sad. I cried all the way into surgery. It ruptured about an hour before I went to surgery and the recovery was really tough. I'm still not 100%. Anyways, I went home for about 2 months, left poor DH to survive Luanda on his own! It was a good decision in the end cos i got really good follow up including a lap to a__sess the damage to the tube (pretty bad - won't function again).The RE I saw at home says IVF is probably our only option. Either way, we're not TTC anymore. I don't know when I'll get over what happened to me, but it won't be any time soon. So that's the story. Not exactly warm and fuzzy! But I tell myself all the time I'm lucky to be alive. And I am. It was pure chance that I picked up the HCG results that day (I had actually forgotten about them for a week) and that the doctor was available to do the surgery. I've also learned how tenacious a baby can be at that stage. I had stopped taking progesterone, was drinking alcohol again, eating really badly, not looking after myself at all (it was a stressful time all round) and all the time that baby was hanging on in there and i had no idea I was still pregnant...crazy. I probably won't be on here very often...but I'd love to keep up with you girls to know how you're doing so keep posting kay?! So Mandy you're back on the TTC wagon as well huh? How did you find the lap? I found it really uncomfortable afterwards but I think that was because that whole area was sore anyway from the surgery. And what were the results, is everything ok? ok, girls, I'll pop in again soon..take care and loads of baby dust to you both xx

Naomi98 - My heart has broken in a thousand pieces. I am so very sorry that this happened. I am sending you the biggest hug and also lots and lots of prayers. I really don't have anything to update. Just in the 2ww. Take care of yourself and I will keeping checking in to see if you have posted. Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Krissy68

Wow Naomi that's pretty crazy. I can't believe you went through all that. It must have been hard to be away from your hubby going through it all too. So I guess there are no ivf clinics in the Angola area then? That's too bad. Do you think you'll be there for a while? Maybe you can just put ttc on hold for a few years.... I'm trying to be hopeful for you. :) As for me I had the lap to remove an ugly looking cyst from my ovary and it turns out I have some (mild) endometriosis. My RE says I have the worst luck! The recovery was pretty brutal for the first couple days. I had to walk hunched over holding my tummy where the incisions were. But in all seriousness I can't take doing these failed IUI's anymore. I'm a wreck everytime I get my neg result and I'm getting more and more depressed about it. I don't think I'll ever get pregnant. I can cry at the drop of a hat (doesn't help that i'm cd4). I had my dr appt today and told him I am considering ivf. And luckily he's on board with that. We're going on vacation to Banff in July so we'll start it hopefully after that. I can understand not wanting to come back here very much and needing a break from this site and the obsessiveness of it! I hope you are doing well over there. Talk to you soon! Krissy - where are you in this now? Are you seeing an RE now? What kind of surgery are you waiting for? Are you doing medicated cycles too?

Thanks girls, it's so good to talk to you again :-) Sunshine my problem is not really about access to an IVF clinic...we can to go South Africa if that's what we want. My problem is that my feelings towards pregnancy are so negative now I really don't want to get pregnant again. I totally accept that that will change at some point in the future but until I get over the fear, I don't want to see those two lines on a hpt. But thanks sweetie, I know you're trying to encourage me, I'm just WAY out of the zone right now. Sorry to hear the lap was painful. I must say I was hurting the next day...lay on the sofa and didn't move at all. And i definitely think it set back my recovery from the other surgery (it was a full caesarian incision so very painful afterwards). I also had a cyst removed from my left ovary during the ectopic surgery. I don't think it really needed to be but I guess the doctor figured while she was in there. I wish she'd taken out my appendix at the same time...one less thing to go wrong :-) did they remove the endo? Did the RE say that would have a big impact on you getting pregnant. I know what you mean about the failed IUIs. It wasn't til no. 4 & 5 that we got the bfp's. I had ZERO faith left and honestly, we did nothing different those months. In fact on the 5th one, dh's count was really low because he was ill and we were sure it wouldn't work. I wish I knew what made it happen in there..apart from sheer luck! But it sounds like you've already made the mental shift to IVF...I'm having trouble with it myself but I guess in time we'll need to consider it. Krissy, where you at in your cycle? And what happened over the past few months..sounds like you had your own traumas to deal with. You are a super optimistic person, we need that on this thread :-) xx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR KRISSSSSIIIEEE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! You know I remember your birthday from last year, that's how long we've known each other :-) Aside from that, ouch, that's quite a bill for your laparoscopy. The only reason my insurance paid for it was because I billed it as a medical follow up from the ectopic surgery. Otherwise they wouldn't. Good luck in the 2ww hun, I remember well what hell it can be! x

Naomi98 - Thank you very much for the birthday wish. I think the reason why the insurance company isn't going to pay for it is because the fertility doctor will be doing it so they are cla__sified as a fertility issue so I am now hoping that the new doctor will do it. I will keep you updated. I am currently on cd 25/11dpo and according to fertility friend I could test today 5 days before AF but I chickened out. I am still 11 days above my coverline but today my temp did go way down from yesterday 98.69 to 98.20. I have a question. I am thinking about ignoring that temp because this morning my fiance work me up before it was time and then he wanted to talk and then after that we bd and then I took my temp. So what do you think? If my temp go back up in the morning and a little highter on Wednesday then I will test them. I do have a question I have some of the internet hpt can you use them anytime of the day? I will talk to you soon. Krissy68

Naomi98 and Sunshine - How are you both doing? I'm just hanging. I just wanted to give you a update. I am now cd26/12dpo and my temp went up from yesterday 98.20 to 98.39 but I did break down and took one of the internet hpt and it was bfn. I wasn't upset or depress. I was really happy that my temp went up some so all I am asking is that you all please say a prayer and keep fingers cross that they keep going up AF should be here between 12-15 and according to some website the earliest I can take the hpt is tomorrow but I think I will wait for a few more days. My sysmptoms are a just about the same: lower back bothering me off and on, super tired I need a nap right about now, I'm starving like I haven't ate in weeks, b___bs a little sore, my stomache is a little upset, queesy, nausuated. I think that is about it. I will keep you girls updated. Krissy68

Naomi, my dr said the endo was pretty negligent actually. It wasn't too bad and it woudn't be preventing me from getting pregnant. So it's a puzzle as to why I'm not getting pregnant. My dh doesn't want to do another iui. He's seeing it as a waste since none of them have worked. And instead of putting all that money into them, he would rather put the $$ towards ivf. So we're looking at doing it in August. We're going on vacation in July so we'll have to wait till we get back. It kills me every month I get a neg and he probably thinks it's getting to be too much for me. We've been trying to have a baby for almost 4 years now with no luck. So we're just ready to do what we need to do. I just feel like I'm wasting time you know? So yeah, over the last few weeks, we've talked about it and I've come to terms with that being the only route for me now. Unless I miraculously get pregnant on my own in the meantime! I can imagine how different it would feel though if I had actually got pregnant twice and had back to back miscarriages. If it were me, I'd be a wreck and would be down right p__sed off about the whole thing. You have to come to terms with it before moving on I guess eh? Krissy - good luck! I hope this is the one for you!!!

sunshine - Have a nice vacation. I just wanted to give you girls a quick update. Well I am currently on cd27/13dpo and my temp took a nose dive from yesterday 98.39 to 97.94 and in the pa__s when my temp start going down then I know AF will be knocking. This is the first time that my temp have been above the coverline for 12 straight days. I am still constipated, bloated, ga__sy crampy, fatigue, lower back pain, irrated, ga__sy, creamy cm. I will keep you updated. Talk to you girls soon. Krissy68

Mandy, it's so frustrating not know why it isn't happening. Unexplained infertility sucks big time. It sounds like your dh has the right idea, if you're both ready and able to go for IVF why wait? I know what you mean about wasting time...I thought I'd be pregnant at 32. I'm going to be 35 in August and nothing. Another friend is ttc now and if she gets pregnant, honestly, I don't know what I'll do. Your holiday sounds lovely - I have to admit I had to google Banff! We're going to France in August. I'm counting the days, can't wait!! Krissy - I hate when the temps go down. Here's hoping this month is a special one :-)

Naomi98 - Nope it's not going to be special but thank you anyway. AF found me at 3am. How are you doing? Krissy68

Hi Krissy, sorry about af :-( And at 3am too - insult on top of injury. I'm doing fine. still looking for work here and starting to get a little anxious. It's not as easy as it has been in other places. But anyways, I'm sure something will come up soon...I hope so! Take care and babydust for this cycle x

Naomi98 - I hope you find a job soon. I will say a prayer for you. Krissy68

Hey girls, just wanted to drop in to see how you're all doing? So I took a big step this week and contacted a fertility clinic in South Africa. It was just to find out a bit more about IVF (we realise we are very ignorant about it!). The staff at the clinic have been lovely, very understanding and helpful. If we do go for IVF, it will definitely be there. Still reluctant but glad that the option is there for us. Mandy, what's going on with you these days? Guess you're just counting the days to holiday time! And Krissy, you must be almost at "O" time...lots of sparkly dust going your way girl. Heidi is due in a few weeks. She's just started maternity leave! Can't believe her lil one is almost here! xx

Hi Naomie98. I just wanted to say hi. Hope things are going good for you. Miss talking to you. Amanda