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Hi nameless! This is my first post so bear with me. I am 26 and 10 weeks pregnant and wanted to let you know that I am adopted. It is a wonderful feeling that my mom loved me enough to go through the emotional and physical pain of having me and letting me go to a family that was in a better place to take care of me. I was adopted at the age of 3.5 so the stuggles were enourmous. Just think if she took the other option and killed me I wouldn't have 3 wonderful kids. The wonderful thing about life is it NEVER stays the same. I would be willing to bet in a few years you'll look back and think I'm glad I toughed it out or WHY didn't I tough it out. Motherhood is a selfless act. Take care of yourself and that baby it is a short time in your life and it is someone whole future that you have complete control over!

One more thought-- She might have been my mother for a short time but she gave me the most important gift. Adoption isn't that bad of an option. I have not personally given a child up for adoption but I have a lot of friends that are adopted themselves. Ask ANY of them they have never told me that they wished that there mother had had an abortion. So just a little voice from a grown up fetus that could have easily not have been.

Nameless, the most selfless and loving thing you could do would be to put your son up for adoption, It would probably be the hardes tthing you ever did, but that takes courage and love and really means you are a wonderful mother for realizing you want a better life for him. And what a gift for a loving family who can maybe not have a child. At this point I don't think you would really want to abort. Also, I agree with the previous posters about finding out what government a__sistance is available to you. I think it is admirable that you do not want to accept welfare because you are a hard worker who wants better out of life, but it could temporarily help you and your children until you get on your feet. I am not on welfare, but I do believe it is there for people like you who do not want to abuse it. My baby is 10 weeks old and I would do anything for him, as I can tell you would for your daughter, who is beautiful by the way. I am 28 yrs old and live in cleveland Oh and do not judge, if you feel you need to talk to someone, I recognize you from some of the other forums, I am here to listen, or help if possible. If you ever want to e-mail me personally it is Rachael_J_Balaga@progressive.com. Best of luck to you. Also, you are a good person and a great mom, do not let yourself think any differently!

also selfless and loving to abort, fetal research has benefitted us all.

I would could keep my child. I mean you really do not know who will adopt him. I just want to say this and not try to be rude, but why would you have another child with this guy knowing he is the way he is. My sister is in a similiar situation, but she has 2 baby fathers neither one of them work and she does not hardly work either. One father is on SSI and other one is on welfare. She picked these men to help her raise her children. Keep your baby and the lord will help you make a way.

thank you for your advice, I really do wan to keep my son, and I don't even know how I could have thought of abortion, after seeing portfolios of families I decided I would rather raise him by my self... The situation is not as bad with my husband( the only reason we got married is because after my daughter was born, I got a large hospital bill and the only way to pay for it was to go under his insurance) anyway he tries sometimes, he took my daughter yesterday to go visit his mom, but when he dropped her off she wasn't even strapped in her carseat and smelled like a giant cigarette, not to mention a bruisy bump on her forehead... sometimes he is there but then I won't hear from him for like a week!!!

Well, you definitely have a good att_tude and head on your shoulders. It will be hard but you will be able to do it. Definitely look into what your state offers, you may even want to look into divorce if your bill is paid off. Women tend to get more help if they are single mothers. You should be eligible for Wic, food stamps,maybe cash or housing vouchers. Once you get thru with nursing school it will all be worth it and you will make a great life for you and your two kids.

thank you for your advice rachael, its very helpfull! I can't really get a divorce because it would be too expensive, plus I would have to go to court for childsupport.. right now I work in medical filing, which isn't bad and once I finish nursing I know it will be a lot better. I just have good days and then I have bad days where I don't know what to do! I am haveing a good day although I am a little confused because at 14 weeks I had a transv____al and they said it was a boy, and then yesterday I went to another clinic and they couldn't tell because the legs were closed, and the technician said that it might have been too early at 14 weeks, results are unclear, and it still might be a girl, I am going on monday to the student hospital ( where I had the 14 week one) and hopefully I will know for sure, I think it is a boy!! although a girl might be better because I have baby girl clothes

at the ultarsound I was like " come on baby, open your legs" and then I thought oh! I will never say that sentence again, I swear!!!! ;-)

That is so funny. Our little boy was not shy either at his ultrasounds. I hope that is not a sign of what is to come! Even if you cannot get divorced, you should still be able to get some financial a__sistance. I wish you all the luck in the world. It will get better! Things always seem to have a way of working themselves out!

I know where your at!!! I had my daughter at 20 and now I am trying to go to school, work, and make ends meet. I hate to recommend it but some ppl need it. Welfare is the way to go. I am on cash a__sistance, food stamps, medicaid, energy a__sistance, etc. You can do it. And since you are a student take out a student loan so you can take a break from work for a few weeks when the baby comes. You can do this! Plus with a boy and a girl you could get your tubes tied if you're sure you're done! Otherwise look into an IUD. That's what I got and that means 5 years stress free. Best wishes.

NAMELESS, keep your baby!!!! keep us posted on how your pregnancy goes, good luck to you!!!!! Your baby girl is beautifull, saw her pictures!!!!!

hey. i just wanted to let you know that i struggled with the same decision. i found out that i was actually too far along to have an abortion while at the clinic on the day of my appt. it was the best thing ever, because the choice was out of my hands, but i would have gone through with it if i had been able to. i dont want to sound heartless, and i love my baby boy, but it just isnt the right time. i totally understand what you mean about that. i admire you for having a daughter and taking care of her... having another child would be hard. adoption is the ABSOLUTE hardest choice ever. it is harder for me to decide on that, than it was for me to decide to go to the clinic and have an abortion. that almost seems twisted, but it really is true. i hate thinking that i wont know him, that he will live his whole life not knowing me, and knowing that i love him and would give anything up just for this to have happened to me a couple years down the road... but it didnt, and now im 19, working part time, and i have a baby who will be here a week before christmas. this is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me... adoption is such a hard choice though. i really wish you luck, and remember that no one can make this choice besides you. you have time still to think over keeping him or giving him up for adoption. but the abortion time window is closing quickly...i hope that the choice you make works out for you...

nameless: I'm proud that you are keeping your baby regardless. God will provide!!! I am having our 6th baby and God has provided more times than i can count. I honestly have been in the same situation and if you want to talk then you can e-mail me @ hottmomaof5@aol.com. I will be more than happy to be a friend,,, even tho you have closes friends where you are. I hope everything workd well for you/ and i hope to hear from you soon..... PEACEFUL THOUGHTS....

If I were in your situation, I would keep the baby. There are many programs out there to help you, especially if you are in school. My sister went to a state school and had her tuition paid for, free rent, and food stamps, medical insurance too. She finished school and she now has 3 kids and lives una__sisted. I do have a friend who decided to keep her babies (she had twin boys). When her idiot boyfriend split she ended up doing an open adoption when the babies were a month old. She picked out the parents and they send her pictures here and there. She even got to go to their first birthday party. I really think they will always thank their mother for giving them a chance at life. I am pro choice but after having my son I could never think about terminating. Do whatever you think is best but know that there are options out there and MANY wonderful people out there that can't have children and would love your baby as their own. I hope I came across as supportive.

Please do not kill your baby. I know how you feel. My boys are only 11 months apart, and while it does get hard, it's not as hard as it's made out to be. Do you have any support system? Because if not there are so many people who would want to adopt. It is late in your pregnancy so it would hurt the baby to be ripped apart. Good luck in whatever you choose.