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I couldnt even begin to imagine how you feel...do you think you are ready for this baby? Have you decided what to do yet? Have you told your fiancee? All of these are things you need to think very hard on in the next few days. For the past few weeks I've taken a very serious look into pregnancy and babies. I'm not sure what switch flipped in my head but I find myself dying for a baby even though Im only 18...this may not be normal but its always there on my mind. If you dont know what to do just stop take a deep breath and make a list of what you need to do. Other than that just surf the web you'd be surprised how many useful things you can find. And never forget that there are always people out there for you to talk to...if you want to keep that baby even though your young you should be strong and work through anything...just remember that new life will forever change yours! Please get back to me and tell me how things are going...= )

I understand precisely what you mean about harboring the desire for children at such a young age. I've nursed such a desire for multiple years myself, though this was far from intended. Do I think I am ready? I've asked myself that many times. I want to believe I'm ready for I've spent many years helping my sister raise her five children of various age, but am I really ready? Is anyone ever ready? I told the fiancee this afternoon after I got off of work. A decision hasn't been made per se. Adoption just isn't an solution for me personally. My uncle adopted me when I was five and I hold nothing against adoption itself, rather I could not sustain another life within me for roughly forty weeks without becoming severely attached. I am far from strong enough to hand my baby over. I want nothing more than to keep it, but the fiancee isn't as financially fit as he would like to be. He's the typical Italian, driven to provide ample for him family which is a great quality. He is a few credits short of his Ph.D to land the full time professeur position at the college which starts at amazing salary. He does more than well enough teaching there part-time and being the computer nerd that he is, he is always picking up odd and end side jobs fixing this or that device. He feels that at this particular moment, abortion is our best and perhaps only option. He doesn't want to not be able to provide. I was told that had he already landed his full time position everything would be different. I understand that the decision is mine, being my body and all, but I am no longer one person. I've committed myself to him and thus whatever affects one affects the other. I just... don't know... My head is filled with too much to even breathe properly. The saddening look on his face is terrible. He feels so bad and so helpless, and I don't know how to help him. He wants nothing more than to have children with me, but in a time more suiting. I just can't think straight... I don't want to make the wrong decision and forever hate myself for it. My apologies for the novel... I just can't seem to work it out in my head.

Cap, I very rarely post on the teen forum, but your post touched me. I'm not going to be one to talk about "waiting until you're older and more mature" because I got married when I was almost 19 and 9 months later we got pregnant. I do believe in keeping s_x for marriage, but I'm not posting to rag on that with you either. I just wanted to encourage you. Your fiancee sounds like a keeper in that he desires to work hard and provide for his family, but why does he want to destroy this life you two have created? I understand his wanting to know he can fully provide for the baby, but it sounds like you have enough to afford this baby with what you have now, let alone when he gets his full-time position. If it helps, when my husband and I got married he was going to school full-time and due to the hours his schedule was arranged and us only having one vehicle, he didn't have a full-time job. Only random handyman jobs. I ran a daycare from my home that just barely made the bills and yet we had our baby and never lacked to provide for him, without any aide. Times have improved and now he has a great job, we have cash to spare and I'm able to stay home with our (now) two children. I say this to say that it may seem right now like it won't work, but you can do it! This baby wasn't an accident. Considering you thought you'd never be able to have children, I'd say this little one is twice the miracle! I think your fiancee is feeling very shaky as to being able to provide and what he may need is for you to tell him what a great man/provider he is and affirm him. Guys take their protector/provider role very seriously and to see you constant and unwavering in your faith in him to take care of you and the baby will make a world of difference. Keep in mind too that you just told him. It'll take a little while for it to sink in for him. I know it's hard when things feel so crazy right now, but keep a smile on your face and be happy about this life. Congratulations! Make sure you make an appointment with your doctor and start taking some prenatal vitamins now. BTW, no, no one is ever ready. You become ready. Don't be scared, you'll be a great mommy and I'm sure your man will be a wonderful father. Let him freely share his thoughts and concerns with you because he'll need to work it out in his head and it'll go much easier if he doesn't feel like you're an emotion wreck while he's talking. Guys have to solve problems and "fix" everything they come in contact with, so just help him see that the baby is NOT a problem and that it'll work out. My apologies for MY novel and I hope that I was able to offer some insight. :)

Kiersten, your input was very much appreciated. It calmed me down, at least for the moment. I seem to be living moment to moment since I found out. I never intended to get pregnant at such an age, rather I would have preferred it be a bit later in life as I am enrolling for fall semester at the college the fiancee works at. I am convinced that he doesn't want to destroy the life we made, even if it was far from planned, rather he's terrified of failing. Mind you he is Italian, thus once he has set him mind set to a decision or a way of thinking he is most stubborn to relinquish it. Your story is very encouraging. My job isn't exactly the greatest but I at least have insurance through them which is a plus. If I have to I will seek out a second source of employment or seek out a job that will give me more hours and perhaps a better pay. Before anything drastic is scheduled, I am making a doctors appointment. I am hoping that something, anything will change his mind. You are right, the male instinct is to fix EVERYTHING, sometimes even things that aren't always broken. Sometimes I would swear that he lives on the male instinct. He's a great man, I'm just not certain how to get through to him or how to even get him to listen to anything other than "Yes, I'll schedule the abortion." This is hurting him so much. I've never seen so much pain in his eyes, but he's convinced there is no other way...

My advice is to try and enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy having the baby. I know its confusing and crazy feeling, but you said the father is almost done his phd so I wouldnt worry. Save any extra money that you can before the baby is born. And try and b___st feed instead of formula. Formula is expensive. I had my son amonth before I turned 19 and now hes two and half and I am so happy that I had him. Every mother runs into problems with their children. It's not always just financial that stands for problems. It's a part of having a child. Your creating a human. A very complex mamal. You will enjoy so many things about being a mom. At first it may be overwelming because of waking up every 3-4 hours, but you really do get use to it. You get into it. I dont even need to sleep extra hours. I dont need naps and I became a clock of 7am. But it doesnt bother me. I dont feel like c___p. Also, you can learn so many things as being a mom. I learned how to cook the most random foods. I learned so many things about sicknessess and developement. It's really interesting and a lot of fun. It happened because it's suppose to happen. Just enjoy what's to come. Oh, and no you wont feel pregnant for a few months, unless u get heavy morning sickness(which wont last forever). But once your half way through you will feel good trust me. It's so much fun to pick names, buy baby stuff. Read the waht to expect books and go to your doctors appointments. They need to take blood tests and to check things out on the regular so that you know ur baby is ok and everything. But yeah plz just enjoy it. You will get into it trust me. It's really not that bad. Yes it is hard at times, but we're human! It's natural to have a child.

I'm trying to enjoy my pregnancy to the best of my ability though I must admit that this morning sickness is quite terrible. I'm lucky if I can manage one small meal without being nauseated to the point of food avoidance. I feel that the father and I could do this, though he feels that he may not be ready to be a father. Though I am not that far along, I am already quite attached. I'm planning to call the OBGYN tomorrow morning to see when is the earliest I can squeeze in an appointment. I'm hoping that perhaps a doctors appointment will help connect the father more. I know he's worried thus he spends all his time thinking about my comfort levels and avoids all thought that this is his baby. Perhaps it'll help him see that if we really want this then we will find a way. Failing isn't an option. I am such an emotional wreck, bouncing back and forth from being utterly in love with this baby to breaking down in tears with anxiety. And the decision is still in the air as to what is going to happen. I wish I could sort and process my thoughts better.

I was scared and weirded out at times. My bf had a break down at our first doctors appointment because the doctor was telling us that we were pregnant and asked us what we will do with the baby. But you will be more into it once the morning sickness goes away and everything. Feeling sick is annoying but it will pa__s.