Pregnancy Info HOME

Well there is a way to kind of put your foot down without hurting her further. When my mom gets out of line aboutmy son I just tell her that I am the mother now and say things that rea__sure her and let's her know that I've got this. Then I usually end that convo by addressing certain ways that she has crossed the line. Saying something like "I understand that you've been stressed or worried but..." or "I love you to death but I can't have that happening around my daughter" will usually make your point firm but not seem mean. Also explain to your mom that at Ellies age tone is more imporant than actual words. You may do something like slip a cuss word every now and again but you don't use aggressive tones around her. Her listening to grandma get angry and curse (because usually people put the most aggressive tone behind curse words naturally) causes her stress, and stress can cause problems in her brain development. Just a little suggestion and I hope it helps. I know the stage you are in as a mom is pretty hard because now Ellie has been around for awhile and your getting confident in your own parenting but others are invested and used tohelping and providing advice, but now you don't need their input AS MUCH! It's a sucky tug of war! I didn't handle it correctly at first because I was so scared and in the middle of all that court c___p so it led to mefinally snapping on everyone and getting a bad att_tude when someone crosses the line on my rules!

Oh and sorry to hear about what your mom's going through with your dad. You are so well-adjusted because it's obvious that you care but at the same time, you have separated yourself enough that it isn't putting you in the middle or jeopardizing what you are trying to do with your life! You really should pat yourself on the back because that's sooooo frigggin hard to do!

That's pretty much what I had said to her yesterday and she apologized, so we'll see if it sticks. I know that she knows what she did was out of line so I'm guessing it's just because she was upset that day. Also she personally hasn't had any input in Ellie's life since she was about 6 months old and Harold started paying for her hospital fees. She is still putting the same amount of time, effort and money into me as she would if I had never had Ellie. Really I've tried to make it so that Ellie is no burden on anyone for any reason. She's my baby, my responsibility.. So I made sure I was able to afford everything she needed. Financially, to my mom and my grandma, it's like she doesn't exist because not a cent of their money is going to her. They are still supporting me though. The roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in my belly is still completely provided by my mom and grandma. So if my mom were to be upset about feeling like I'm gaining independence, it would have happened a few months ago when her financial support was no longer needed.