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Hi ladies,
I'm new to the site, I really would like someone to confide in!
Before anyone attacks or sermons me on the dangers I appreciate concern but I've investigated thoroughly and am well aware of the risks.
I have 3 happy,healthy older children from a previous relationship. I remarried and hadn't considered the thought of more children and we were all blissfully happy with the way we were. I fell accidentally after a spell of illness/medicine sabotaged my pill! After initial shock we were amazed to find I was carrying twins,scans kept showing one was smaller but after 3 successfull problem freepregnancies i wasn't concerned. I started to get cramps and bleed and knew the worst, fortunately one,my lovely little son survived .... I bled for weeks which was a constant reminder of the non surviving twin. They offered to show me foetus which was embedded in placenta but I couldn't bear the thought. Chace is adorable but no matter how lovely he is I just kept obsessing about one we lost....
So..... A yr on we have been trying to conceive,(husband doesn't know how I feel, he's such an optimist and sees chace as a singleton.) we have no fertility issues that I'm aware of as never have tried to conceive... No 1,15..was foolishness without contraception,no 2,13...was on injection and no3 11,was mirena coil, I do have however unpredictable cycles I can have a period anything from 2weeks to 7 weeks apart
I investigated on what could of happened and how twins happen etc and then wanted info as to see how I could increase chance of twins and ordered u/p clomid online...I took 100mg last month days 3/7 ( I know there is a risk it was talc_m powder or rats poisoning!) but nonetheless I did it I am now preg! I know it won't replace my lost twin and no guarantees I''ve conceived twins again ....but I somehow really felt I had to try?
I feel for all of you who aren't as fortunate as I have been I hope you don't see me as selfish . A few yrs ago I couldn't have understood your situations but since my loss I know the desperation of wanting to conceive I didn't feel it would work first time.... X x
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