Coping With A Pregnancy Loss

Suffering a miscarriage or stillbirth can be very upsetting and traumatic. Many women feel the need to grieve after a pregnancy loss, regardless of whether it happened early in pregnancy or later on. Although it can be difficult, it is important to deal with your loss rather than ignore the emotions you may be feeling.

Grief
It is very normal to experience grief and go through a grieving process after a miscarriage or stillbirth. Emotional healing after a pregnancy loss can take some time. For some, the grieving process may only last a few days, while for others it can take a few weeks or months. If you've previously experienced one or more miscarriages, your grief may be even more consuming.

It is important to remember that grief is not a sign of weakness; it is a natural human emotion experienced by everyone after a significant loss. And it won't disappear magically overnight. For many women, it is not possible to "just get over it" in a day or two. Unfortunately, it is also not always possible for other people to understand, which can make your grieving process even harder.

Other Emotions
In addition to feeling sadness and grief, you may also find yourself feeling depressed, lonely and even isolated. While these are normal emotions to feel after a traumatic loss, you may want to consider seeking the advice of your health care provider if they begin to interfere with your everyday activities.

You may also be a bit appalled at the anger and jealousy you might feel towards other women who are happily pregnant. Again, these are not unusual emotions to experience when dealing with miscarriage. Just keep in mind that eventually the feelings will pass.

Getting Support
Do not underestimate the healing powers of talking. Look into miscarriage support groups in your area. Attending a support group will allow you to talk with people who are going through the same experience as you. Even if you do not feel like talking to people you do not know, listening to the grief experienced by other parents can help you feel less isolated and alone. See the article on Grief After Loss for a list of resources.

Your family and friends can be a great source of strength and support when dealing with a significant emotional loss. Yet, at the same time, they may also inadvertently aggravate the situation by ignoring the issue altogether. Remember that they care about you and want to help you in any way they can. But they also don't want to upset you more by raising a topic that they know is painful for you. Be honest with them and let them know when you do and don't want to talk about your pregnancy loss.

Your Partner's Feelings
Your relationship with your partner might be particularly strained during this time. Like you, he is also grieving over the loss of the pregnancy. As well, he is also grieving for you because he knows that this is a hard time for you. However, he may not be able to verbalize just what he is feeling, which can put stress on you and the relationship. You may want to consider going for couples' counseling so that you can both work through your grief and emotions together.

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