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Hey rae , i am 18 and i have a 2 week old beautiful girl . You know what i really didnt think i could go through with it and i am no way finacially stable , i moved to Australia from England and my boyfriend is on a working holiday visa so work is limited. But my baby gets everything she needs off what we have. I have a great supporting family and they have helped out alot. Im sure yours would aswell. Having a baby is the most hardest thing a women can go through , the little thing inside you is part of you , my parents wanted me to go to college and get a computer degree but when i first held my little girl i knew she needed me. Yes its hard work but its well worth it. you say now you want to keep her , when she looks into your eyes when shes born i think there will be no way you could give her up.I had my baby by emergency cersarean and i have bonded well , i have healed well aswell , i have been out of hospital for a week now and feel great although some twinges of pain but nothing some panadol can handle! Anyway its all your choice just thought id add my story . Good Luck for whatever you choose !! xx

we are all here for ya....you may consider radiology tech then cause they do ultrasounds....it would be neat...

i would love to keep him. we have discussed baby names in length since we have been together, and glen is the name my boyfriend wanted for a boy. its his middle name/fathers name. that does make it a little more hard knowing that we could be naming him right now. my boyfriend would support anything i chose to do, including keeping him, but im still not sure if we could handle it. chris (boyfriend) is in school full time at itt tech. he is also working just under full time (32 hours a week) and im still working two jobs, even being seven months along. im quitting one job because when i called in from the hospital yesterday they were incredibly rude to me and didnt offer any, "are you okay?" or "do you need more than a day off?" ... all they said was "you need to have a doctors note before you come back to work." but anyhow, we are barely making it as it is. we are in a 6 month lease that ended up being more like a 7 month lease because the first month didnt count. that is up in march. so right now we are paying 585 a month for a studio appt. there are three of us living here. our bills arent bad, but if i am out of work, i just dont know how we could do it. we are barely making it right now, like i said, and a baby is so expensive. i have two friends who are pregnant right now also, one is due in october, and the other in february, and they are both keeping thiers. they are both under 18, too. that makes me think that i would be able to do it, but i just want whats best for my boy. we still havent told my parents or his because we dont want this to turn into something big. my parents would more than likely not be supportive. my brother would be, and that would be a huge relief, but my parents would likely throw a fit. my baby is moving around okay. not as much as he did before, but i could just be freaking myself out. but dont get me wrong, im relaxing as much as possible, and ive calmed down so incredibly much. im definitely trying to give him a good stay in mommas tummy =). since i wasnt sure, does anyone know if cough drops are on the no-no list? i have a ma__sive sore throat right now, and a cough, and i was wondering if there could be something in the cough drops that would hurt my little guy.... anyone had that happen to them?

Check with the store pharmacist to see if the over the counter throat lozenges are okay. You probably shouldn't take any cough/cold meds like Nyquil, etc. until you speak w/your doctor. Definately don't take anything with psuedoephedrine in it, as that will speed up yours and your baby's heartrate and with your recent contractions you don't need stimulants. Hope you feel better soon.

thanks.. my throat is better now, but i still need to cough all the time. ill ask the pharmicist or my ob if this doesnt clear up by the time of my appt. thanks!

Rae you can't live your life for nobody but you and the baby if you truly want to keep your baby don't let nobody pressure you into doing anything else I am 33yrs old married with 2 kids and one on the way my kids are everything to me I remember all their first the first time they crawled walked rolled over smiled it is amazing if you decide to give the baby up for adoption there is nothing wrong with that either do what is best for you but keep this in mind just because you have a baby doesn't mean you have to give up your dreams of going to college there are ways out there for people in your situation call around and check out your options for help if giving your baby up isn't something you are sure of then think long and hard before you make up your mind seek counciling to see if you are making the best decision. None of us are truly financially stable or where we want to be babies need food and clothes diapers and LOTS OF LOVE the other things are meaningless when sick they want thier mommy when they get a boo boo they want their mommy when they have discovered bugs and flowers they want mommy not toys or material possessions so don't sell yourself short know that you would be a wonderful mommy Good Luck to you and to your baby

Hey Rae, a bit worried here, are you and baby boy ok? How's the sore throat and stuff? Anyhow, just checking in to see how you are holding up and to see if you needed any encouragement. Talk to you later.

oh sorry... ive been pretty busy lately, so i havent had much internet time. tomorrow is my first wic appt. and im hoping to get on that so we can save a little more money for when im out of work. we have decided to go with the adoption, and right now we are having a hard time deciding on open or not. i want open, but boyfriend does not. it would be a lot harder for him if he had to see his son and know he couldnt have him, so he wants to just do it and then leave it. plus, we really dont want to confuse our kid. my only concern is that he wont ever know that i love him and wanted him... i dont want him thinking i am some random person out there and that he was a mistake. but ive been kind of at peace with that lately. i had one really bad day where i broke down sobbing, but with the help of my best friend and my boyfriend, i pulled it together and realized what they were saying. we plan on having a large family someday in the future. baby is very healthy. i thought i might be having contractions again yesterday, but it was just him moving around again. ive started on all my vitamins, and they are making me sick a little, but nothing i cant handle... especially since its for my baby. my throat is MUCH better. im not coughing anymore, and i didnt even need to use anything to help it. it just went away.. which im very thankful for. and encouragment is always welcome =). it is still a hard situation, but one that we are going to make the best of. i look forward to someday having a family that i can raise and take care of the way they should be. i keep on getting bigger and bigger. i cant believe how much my belly has grown just in the last few weeks. ive gotten some stretch marks, but ive been using a cream from avon to help with that. hopefully it works! i quit my second job because they were very unsupportive, and very rude to me when i called in at the hospital that day. they didnt ask if i was okay, just demanded a doctors note the next day. plus it just was wearing me out. i was waking up at 5:30 three days a week, and then working there, then going to my other job and working until 10 p.m. VERY not good for baby. i was exhausted. but, that does only leave me one source of income right now, and im worrying about costs after i have my child. i dont know how long im going to have to be out of work, and that is scaring me. i will find out monday though. hopefully i can make enough money to cover my portion of rent/phone bill/electricity/and internet for the two months or so im out of work. my boyfriend will help out if i cant, im sure of that, but i still want to be able to have some money saved up so that it isnt an incredibly hard time for us. we havent contacted the agency yet for adoption, but i think im going to do that soon. as soon as i figure out what my schedule is at work for next week. but, all in all, ive been doing surprisingly well. im a lot happier now, and i think that baby can tell because hes started kicking more and more. thanks so much for your concern. it helps a lot to know that people care. i find out monday, also, if im going to do a c-section or not, so hopefully that goes well. THANKS again... you are helping this to be a better experience than i thought it would be.

Rae-please wait until after you hold your baby-it is such an incredible feeling when you first become a mom-even if you are only 19. Your old enough and you sound mature-if you are eligible for WIC then you are probably eliglible for welfare, I know, no one wants to be on it-but I am. Me and my husband are. And my son. It is the only way right now. I am in college and I got pregnant when we were dating. I ended up having to stop working bc my doc said so. My health insurance dropped me at 8 months. I walked into the local hospital and told then I didn't know what to do-we had only money that was in savings and no health insurance. They set me up with a social worker who explained everything to me. We used to get about 300 dollars a month for food, and we got the insurance. There are programs for helping with utilities. It is funny, because in June I went in for a requalifying for the programs and she said that we make too much money now, and that felt good to be told that we didn't qualify for welfare. My son is on the healthy start program. There is nothing more awesome then holding your baby after birth. Trust me-it was life changing for me. I am a mom now. I think you should look into what you could get-its not for ever. trust me....

Hi Rae! I must ask you to reconsider open adoption! Please explain to your boyfriend that seeing him or not seeing him won't make much of a difference in the constant memory of having a son...plus, if that is what he wants, he can have "his" adoption and you can have yours. I mean, you can always opt out of an open adoption if its not a good fit (carefully for the child of course) but you really can't "open" a closed adoption, know what I mean? On another point, please don't have a c-section, I have tremendous problems from mine, and once you go cesarean it is very difficult to go back to v____al (you should be able to, but alot of places won't even let you try..) So in essence in both cases, think about the long term consequences of both decisions and which ones of the two have "back doors". Labor is tolerable and if you need a c-section, you will get one, chances are you don't so why do it and force yourself to have one every time from now on? Open adoption is open until you decide it isn't working whereas closed adoption is exactly that until the baby is 18...Just food for thought. Glad you are feeling better and hang in there, ok? Talk to you soon!!!!

Hello Rae glad you are feeling better it's amazing how much you feel from the baby isn't it mine is a little girl her name will be Abigail Elaine (Abby) I have 2 kids and one on the way I know you don't think you can go to school and have a baby but I am 33 yrs old I graduated in "90" my husband is working out of town for a while and i am going to school at night for Dental a__sisting and will be graduating in 15 weeks I never had nobody to encourage me and say go for it you can be anything you want mine was the opposite my children see me going to school to better myself and when I tell them you can be anything you want to be they see me and know it is true because I am their example Rae you are 19 and the baby is young enough that you can go to school and get your degree for whatever field you desire do limit yourself and think you cannot do it because you have a baby let HIM be your motivation not a weight he loves you right now he knows your voice your heartbeat and even the funny noices you make in your sleep he hears them adoption is a good thing don't get me wrong if you give this baby up without thinking it completely through it won't matter how many kids you have there will always be a missing spot at the table and a void in your heart Deb is Rae the only one who can close the adoption or can the adoptive people change their mind as well about closed adoptions Rae there is a whole future you will be missing out on if you adopt grandbabies his first steps his first smile his first tooth the first time he rolls over or crawls Rae this is your decision don't be pressured by friends family or even your boyfriend think about it and pray about it there is nothing wrong with getting Medical or Financial help from the government there are grants out there to help with college think about it and gl 2u and your baby boy

thanks again guys. dont get me wrong, my boyfriend isnt pressuring me at all to do anything i dont want to do. he is just trying to make this easiest on both of us. i do disagree about the closed adoption being easier.. at least for me. we are thinking we may leave it open, for my sake, so that i can see him, and if my boyfriend still thinks it will be too hard, then he wont have to see him. he is taking this really hard, because he wants our son as much as i do. we both know we arent mentally ready to be parents. loving-wise, we are there. but emotionally and financially, we arent there. im really going to search for that perfect family, even though there is no perfect family... because this is my son. when it comes down to it, he will always be my son, and even if i have him adopted, he will always have the biggest part of my heart. BUT.. dont worry.. i am definitely going to go through some sort of counselling with my boyfriend to make sure we are making the right decision. ive never been too religious, but my boyfriend and i are trying to get back into it, and ive been praying about this for peace lately. i dont know if its mind over matter, but these last couple days, i have been about as much at peace as i ever will be about this. i feel i am really doing what is right, even though what im doing is very hard. there is no decision that is going to be completely right, or easy. no matter what i wish that we had been more responsible and more mature and either held off on s_x or just plain flat out been smarter about it. i used to think it was no big thing, but now i know its a very big thing. if we had waited until we were ready to be parents, then right now could be the happiest time of my life... instead of being the happiest time of my life leading into the saddest. if any of you are religious, can i ask that you pray for me? even if its just once... just that i will be able to get all the pieces in place and make the best decision for me, my baby, and my boyfriend (soon to be fiance... once he finishes school we are getting married.. so in two years.) please just pray that we can figure this out and make the best out of this situation. thank you all again.... its really encouraging that people care... you dont see that very often. thanks.

Rae, I am not an organized religion person, but I do believe. I have received blessings and I will say a prayer for you (again!!!) I think you are one of the strongest women I have ever met, even to think of what you might do for your baby's sake...again, I would be proud to have you as my friend or daughter or sister. I didn't mean to imply your boyfriend was being a jerk or pressuring you, he seems just as distraught as you. Katrena, I am not a lawyer, but I do believe the open adoption is a contract and with all contracts for them to be voided or altered there must be cause presented. So I believe if Rae decides it is in hers or the baby's best interest to change it and it is done with as little harm to the baby as possible then I think SHE can do it without complaint. I am pretty sure the adoptive parents couldn't do it without proving some pretty negative stuff on the biological parents' part. Again, I am not a lawyer, I am medical, but seems to be what I understand. Got to get some rest, so goodnight girls!

thanks deb!!! youre so kind. it means a lot. i didnt take offence to what you said about my bf.. i just didnt want anyone getting the wrong idea about him. when he first said he wanted closed, i burst into tears. i couldnt believe it, because it didnt sound like him at all.. but then once he talked to me about it, and just completely consoled me and held me, it made sense, and i realized once again why he is going to be the father of all my children. good news! i got on wic today, so that means that i am going to be able to save a little more money for when im out of work! monday is my doc's appt., and im nervous. im just sick of people poking me with needles.. in the last three weeks ive been poked like 6 times at least. but anyhow.. i dont know what the protocol on these things are at this site, but deb, and anyone.. if anyone wants to talk to me, im sometimes on aol instant messenger, and my screen name is: she may never. my email address is dejaplane@hotmail.com. id love anything from anyone, because it really does get lonely on the internet when bf is at work or school.... thanks again so much. and deb, i definitely consider you a great friend. thank you so much for all the encouragment and help youve given me. it was completely unexpected, and completely welcome. thanks!

hello rae i know what a hard decision this is for you and i understand why you feel you should give it up for adoption. you are amazing! my husband and i have been trying to adopt for 8 months and it is VERY hard to find someone that wants to give you their baby. there are so many people in the world wanting a baby and very few people strong enough to give it to them (such as yourself) i think you are an amazing person and i wish you the best of luck with whatever you do!

Oh Rae, thank you for your kind words! I know what you mean about the needles!!! I am a medic and I can take all the blood, poop, throwup, broken bones...but I always sweat whenever needles and I must meet up. I will be thinking of you on Monday, don't know where you live, but I am in Oregon so I am probably 2-3 hours behind you. Keep me up-to-date and pat baby boy for me!