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I have just cried my eyes out reading this page...I too have had my own personal tragedy..In January this year i went into labour at 41wks with a perfectly healthy baby girl kicking inside me...due to hoppital neglect (lack of monitoring) my little girl was struggling after 18hrs of labour. As I wasnt being monitored nobody noticed till the last minute&I was rushed 4 a c-section..she was stillborn. I feel so empty now...I put my trust in so-called professionals and they let us down. p-mortem results prove she was perfectly healthy..and the midwives admitted if they had noticed in time she would be here...it makes me so angry, I feel i left my daughter down by not noticing or helping her...she was only trying to get out to meet us and nobody helped her/us...its killing me....and i now have to deal with the fact that everyone around me is getting pregnant or having babies and we are trying 2 conceive for months with no luck....its so unfair...im thinking of giving up. I find it so hard trying 2 put on a brave face,when every night i cry into my babies photos and her empty baby book....i think of her buggy&moses basket lying idle in the attic....how can I ever deal with this???I feel nobody understands...I also know its impossible to even imagine this pain unless you go through it. Im also noticing my periods are quite light..is this preventing conception?cos obviously im fertile&i ovulate every month...I know this is long winded but I hope somebody out there has some advise about improving the lining of the womb or just coping in general....but please dont tell me turn to god...im glad that worked for others but no god would steal my little girl from my arms and let other babies be borm to abusive parents...so dont even go there. In answer to the trying again question my doc told me 3 months...but its just not happening 4 me...

Hello Irishgal. I cannot even begin to understand how angry you must be. I lost my baby in March this year. I went to a specialist yesterday who after asking me millions of questions and getting all my blood results and paper work from the hospital basically said it was due to my old doctor’s negligence that I lost my baby girl. He confirmed that I was actually 33 weeks pregnant when I lost Madison and not 28 weeks like the old doctor said. So we are in a very similar kind of position even though it is a little different. Since I left the doctors rooms yesterday I cannot stop thinking about the “what if” I chose another doctor… but I have realized that this will drive me insane and that there is nothing I can do about it now, I just try block those thoughts. I totally agree with you that no one could possibly imagine the pain unless you go through it yourself, it is a very very lonely road, not even the father of the baby feels that same as us mothers do. With regards to your comment about why people who abuse children are allowed them and us who could be good parents have our little ones taken away from us, I must say I really battle to understand why this happens, and I know your anger with God, believe me I have been through the same, I have days where I get very very angry with Him, and I also wonder why he would do such a horrible thing to me, but I am told that there is a lesson to be learnt in everything that happens and I know one thing for sure – I will be the best mom one day, I have learnt a very big lesson from this horrible ordeal. Lots of baby dust to you, I really hope you feel pregnant soon.

thanx for writing tania...ya its a similar situation and i too felt the guilt about choosing that hospital...but i know i cant blame myself for other peoples mistakes..i did a great job looking after her for 40wks inside me...i know for that 40wks she was happy&i was a good mother...its just some days i can think towards the future other days i cant see a way out. theres a weight on my shoulders that will stay with me for the rest of my life and its hard (as u know).if u dont mind me asking are u currently trying to conceive?and thanx 4 the baby dust....i hope i can eventually move on and have a full life with loadsa kids...at least i am blessed with the best husband in the world he is my rock....i really hope things work out for u and ur family too..

Hello again Irishgal. Yes our situations are very similar. I don’t actually blame the hospital as the nurses were just brilliant and so supportive, but I am definitely very angry with my old guyni, if i had to see her one day i think i would actually attack her. I am thinking of writing her a letter just to get it off my chest. Not only am I cross with her because of loosing Madison but also because of the way she handled the whole thing once I had lost her, she told me that she would only take Madison out of me 2 days later, I eventually threatened her by saying I will go to another doc if she doesn’t take her out sooner, she eventually took her out more than a day later. It was just horrible walking around with a huge belly knowing my baby was dead inside of me. I also have my days where I feel I just can’t go on, those days are very very dark and lonely, cannot explain to anyone. With regards to trying for another baby now – no we are not trying at the moment for two reasons, my old doctor messed up with my c-section a little and I developed some kind of hernia, I have to get it operated on asap because it is affecting my colon, I am seeing the surgeon next week and will take it from there. So I first need to sort my body out. Secondly my head is WAY to messed up at the moment to try for another baby, I still have lots of grieving to deal with. My new guyni also says I shouldn’t try at the moment, I first need to be emotionally stable. I would imagine that we will start trying next year sometime. All the best to you and your family too. If you need to chat at anytime you can mail me on taniae@digicall.co.za. We both will get through this horrible experience and we will have loads of kids one day, I cannot wait.

I am curious about all of you who have been trying again after your cs. How did your pregnancy go? i had a c-section last october and lost my baby after 2 months. we are now ttc again and am wondering if it's too soon. i have cla__sical skin incision but my uterus' incision is low transvers (bikini). any feedback would be appreciated.

tiffany- I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby. My heart and thoughts go out to you and your family. I had a cla__sical c-section on 11-16-06 after finding out my baby died on 11-13-06. I was 19 weeks and completely DEVASTATED. Learning that I could not conceive again for a year was almost as devastating. I was told that I would need to wait a year for fear of a uterine rupture. I asked my gynecologist to talk to the specialist to ask if I really had to wait a year or if I could try sooner. I was told that I could try again in 9 months/August. In June my gynecologist is going to do an ultra sound of my uterus and fill it with fluid to confirm my scar has properly healed so that I may be prepared for August. I wish I could start trying now and that someone would tell me it’s ok. It has not been easy to find information on pregnancies after cla__sical incisions on the internet. Please let me know if you learn anything new. Sounds like your healing will go a lot faster or w/ less risk since you only had a cla__sical incision on your skin. Again – I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby, but I trust that our babies are angels in heaven.

Hi Cindy - i went to see a high risk OB last saturday and was advised that 6 months is best to wait. I will be going to another OB tomorrow for a second opinion. Was your cut on the uterus vertical also? Is that why they need to do the water test?

Hi Tiffany - yes, my uterine incision was also vertical. The water test is precautionary because they know we want to ttc ASAP and to see how I'm healing about 2 months before we ttc. I hope your 2nd appt went well. I am so eager for June to see how my uterus is healing.

hi cindy! i read your post in the other message board...what you went through is very difficult and i admire your courage to keep going. i hope you will be blessed with more healthy babies...do let us know how your test in June goes.

I gave birth to my daughter 5 months ago. I had c-section due to placenta abroption. How long should we wait to have one more baby ?

My Dr. told us to wait at least 6 months before we get pregnant again. Going to wait longer though. I don't want my babies that close together. I also want to get back into shape...

i got pregnant 9 months after c-section and gave birth to a healthy baby girl 9 months later via VBAC

i am a member

Hi im new to this and i was reading some of the q's&a's and something really stood out to me......The user named Steven who was having problems with his wife not allowing him to take part in his daughters life due to her jealousy.....Im really bothered by this situation.....especially that his wife seems like she need professional help! It has been awhile since he has beeen on.......not since aug. 2005! Does anyone know what happened w/ the situation? That poor baby! I hope that mother no longer has custody of that baby!

My daughter is 16 weeks pregnant and her first baby, born by cesarean section, is only 19 weeks old. The new pregnancy is a tremendous shock for the couple as contraception failed them but I will make sure that they read some of these stories because I feel quite humbled to have a healthy four month old grandbaby. My daughter just has to get on and think positively about the future. One thing is for sure my daughter's health visitor, who visits her weekly, has been marvelous and I trust her to keep an eye on my daughter's condition. I feel terribly sad for the many forum member's here who have suffered a loss. God bless all those little angels.

I just had a baby on Nov 15 2007 which after 10 long years of trying to conceive I finally did it with the help of infertility treatments and my RE ,unfortunately My Baby daoughter Destiny pa__sed away an hour after birth also due to DR and hospital negligence,she was our first,now I'm going to start trying again in Feb 3 months after that c section,bc we don't know how long is going to take us this time ,we are hoping that it wont be that long as I am 29 years old and not getting any younger I also hope I don't have to go throu any M/c as often pople with my condition Pcos have to deal with,infact I had one prior to getting pregnant with my dear Daughter.My Re Dr said it was fine to start right away but first I needed to be off the antydepresants so I'm giving my self one more month to deal with my grief and then we start again.So Good luck to all of you and if you are scare of pregnancy right after c section DON'T BE God is going to guide you and he is with you every step of the way, Be happy and enjoy your pregnancy it is truly a Blessing and a Miracle that alot of us have to strugle to have.But I'm not giving up I'm going to continue to try bc My baby Daughter was Destin for me and human hands took her away from me so I know that someday God will bless us again,never to replace her but to fill the emptiness in our heart that they left us when they took her life ...Good luck again to all God Bless. by the way my name is Vicky and I'm new here... P.S We are Putting our Babys death on lawyers hands and we are not going to stop until the responsible pople pay for what they did and if they don't pay here on earth I know that they will get what they deserve throug Gods justice...