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well, smoking weed is one of the lesser evils itleast. As long as he can maintain a job, be productive and loving father, just be patient. You can still keep it out of the house, and he doesn't have to smoke around the baby. If he has built a tolerance, smoking shouldn't deter him from feeding or holding, or doing any other necessary duties. Unless he can't maintain. I am not a smoker, but my dh smokes, and it does bother me sometimes but its out of the house and he doesn't do it around me. He also has a good job and does really well in life regardless.

I've been with him for 8 years, and the only difference in him when he smokes is he more laid back. He is still very articulate, aware and doesn't say stupid things. He is very, very hyper in general, and when he smokes I almost welcome it sometimes so he will relax, it doesn't turn everyone into dummys. Some can maintain.

Allisonc79, I'm in the same boat. I also sometimes welcome it, just to have him relax. I don't smoke, I have tryed a few times, but I don't like it at all. But my dh has a wonderful job, he is the Boss man. Makes a fair wage, so I don't have to work and can stay home with the kids. Also, I would much rather have him smoke than drink. If I had to pick one of the two I would prefer smoking.. He's as sweet as pie and relaxed with it. My dh can be very up tight, and a prefectionist. But he's completely different when he come home and goes to the garage and smokes a little. He's a wonderful dad and husband. I'm ok with it.. As long as it never interfers with the kids and schooling it's ok.. And my biggest rule "NEVER IN THE HOUSE"..

What is wrong with you people??? settling for your husband smoking anything at all cig or mar. around a pregnant woman or baby is hazordous to both of their health!!!! oh it's ok just not in the house???? are you kidding me???? a drug is a drug is a drug.....if you stay with someone who puts himself at risk like that and puts you and your baby at risk then you get what you deserve....that being the consequences of your actions....you stay and put the baby at risk knowing what is going on then you are just as guilty and CPS should be involved. Again, a drug is a drug is a drug. it is unbelievable to me how parents are compromising their health and the health of their children. Either you need to leave him or get ready for CPS to be involved for the rest of that child's life....because they will be and should be if you aren't responsible enough to remove your child let alone yourself from a drug environment. Whether he does it in the house or not...under the influence is still just as bad for the child. Why get mixed up with these men who do this? that's beyond my comprehension...but now that you've made this child....you have a responsiblity solely to the child. We are trying to adopt a foster child and I have to tell you growing up in that environment is horrendous for the child. Once they grow up and learn that what their parents did all those years was not legal, not acceptable, not healthy, not ok....it changes who they are...they ask why did they do that then? why did they put me at risk? why didn't he care enough about me to stop? I mean really....the vast majority of parents would feel the same way that I do....it is a terrible thing to put your children through. Time to mature and raise your child alone if he won't stop. Would you rather do that or have someone smell it on your husband one day and say hey I know he has a kid at home....I am calling CPS...and then bam that night your child is removed. Yeah that's how it happens, that quick lady. It will be just as much your fault as his. How do I know? I am dealing with the effects of it with this child. Sorry it was blunt but I sincerely hope you put your child first.

This is simple for me. Im againts drugs, I wont have them in my daughters life, and if her father decided to do drugs,...to court we go, get a drug test, (he has past convictions for possetion) and there we go, hes out of mine and her life forever and for what? A joint that he just HADDD to have???!!! Nope, not worth it!

Hey, I was in your situation a couple weeks ago. I am now 34 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend has been clean for a good long while. But I basically gave him the ultimatum, Me and the baby, or weed. I told him straight, that I was not kidding and it was not an empty threat. Well, he told me he wouldn't smoke, a couple weeks later I get a call from the police department saying he was caught with it in his car and asked me to bail him out. I went down to the police department with NO intention to bail him out and he basically looked at me and admitted his stupidity and being caught with it made him realize what he was doing to our lives. Since then he's been clean, and we're sitting pretty. I realize that really probably hasn't helped, but I hope that it works out for you the way it did for me.

Even though this comment was posted a while ago, I wanted to throw in my 2 cents. Both my husband and I each have our MBAs. We are both career oriented and have been very successful and are productive members of society. We both smoke on a regular basis. Since I found out I became pregnant, I have quit (for now). There is such a misconception about the people that smoke marijuana. My personal experience is that I find myself more relaxed and am able to reflect on life situations and how to handle them. Many times life can stress out everyone. Some call it self medicating, and maybe that is true. I have tried a variety of anti-depressants and anti-anxienty medications and I have found that none of those meds compare to marijuana. My husband and I will engage in deep conversations while we are both high. We find ourselves turning off the television and focusing on each other. This quality time with him has made us closer because we take the time to listen to each other. Now, with all that said, I believe that marijuana should be used in moderation. Too much of a good thing can go wrong for some people. I'm not claiming it's "good for you", I'm sure long term use must have a negative impact on the lungs at some point. I can also understand the concern about being high while caring for a child, especially an infant. The reflexes are slower and judgement can not be very clear (which explains why I signal 5 miles before turning when I'm driving high). There are many great parents out there that smoke, but are wise enough to do it when they are not caring for their children. Smoking does not make someone a bad parent, again, as long as it's in moderation.

well... My son is 7 months old and his father still smokes every day as well. We live in Canada so our laws are not has harsh. But I told him that he cant keep the weed in the apartment or smoke it near the apartment. So He listens. He also has been smoking since he was 12. It's hard to quit weed after smoking it everyday for that long. I use to smoke weed and I know what it's like. Thank god I quit and I will never do it again. But be thankful your man isn't smoking anything else. weed is not that bad though. It's just considered bad because it's illegal. Alcohol is bad to. But hey it's legal so it's right. Don't worry. Just set some rules. Don't let him have weed or smoke it around you or your baby. Thats all.

babies you are totally right in wanting him to quit. its your baby at the end of the day and your baby's health is of upmost important to you. my ex bf smoked everyday - i dont care how people sugarcoat it - that drug is addictive!! i asked him one day when he would consider quitting and he said maybe when he was 40 plus years old! so i asked what about when he has kids and he said he would still be smoking when he had kids. to cut a long story short, i got out! i thought to myself, i dont need that loser in my life (i since found out he was also dependant on other drugs). he still lives at home at the age of 27, with his mum and dad, single, smoking and taking drugs, stuck in the same old job that he hates. lucky escape!! if your fella really loved you, he would at least TRY to quit for both you and the baby. but sadly all i can see is someone who sounds just like my waste of space ex. good luck whatever you decide.

cutting off contact with your baby's father should be the last resort, not the first. how can you trust your child with him? how about the fact that it's his child too? this whole "it's hard to quit smoking" stuff is c___p - tell him to read "The Easy Way To Quit Smoking", and he'll be done with it. everyone who smokes weed thinks they'll never quit - why quit something that makes you feel good and is naturally grown? let's be honest here - if he's even remotely intelligent, he knows that weed isn't good for you. he knows that he shouldn't be blitzed around the kid. but, he's 21, and thinks he knows everything. you want to solve the problem - don't freak out on him. even if he pushes your b___tons. stay calm, make him understand how important it is to you that he doesn't get high ALL THE TIME. you see, he's feeling the weight of responsibility, coupled with the loss of independence, and that is a lot for a 21 year old to handle. make it clear that it's ok for him to enjoy his vices, just not all the time and that being a responsible role model for his child is more important than blazing with his friends.