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Okay... this girl I am/was.. seeing is pregnant. We were never too serious, just met up a few times a month for some fun. October 21st she called me saying the dreaded word " we have to talk ". After taking her out for dinner, she let me know she was pregnant. This was kind of shocking but not too much, mid September after another "meeting" she let me know she was off birth control. But here's the shocker....she was off birth controll since July 31st...OMG. Conception date was a weekend toghter August 16th 17th, no rubbers. Then in September I find out no birth control.....little late. ANYhow after getting over the initial shock, I bucked up. Told her I would do what i takes and be there for her and the baby , things seemed fine. THAN THE SILENCE, a few weeks after hearing the news, I stopped hearing from her. I like to have stuff somewhat planned out, she apparently doesnt. At first it seemed as if we would be raising baby togther, now im not so sure. When I ask her what her plans are , she dosent know. I ask her what she wants me to do...she dosnt know. After about a month of silence i got a little cholked after being blown off from a weekend date with not even a call, I asked "ARE YOU SURE ITS MINE". I got crying and 97% sure... After some more crying I let her know it hurt s to be left in the dark, she assured me she would talk too and see me more. Well a few months more passsed and still in the same boat. Well not really, I got a bigger nicer place to suit her and baby, she moved back to her mama's to be closer to me....Crazy thing is havent seen her since late october. Dosnt answer when i call, calls me days later than she says. I dont know whats going on, I dont want her to be scared and think of giving the baby away, I dont want her to think im a crazy SOB either, Im just scared and uncertain too. Meanwhile i sit, possibly preparing for people who may not be coming... sucks. Figured she could be seeing somebody.....she not, just seems she dislikes me now. Im going crazy not knowing . What SHOULD I DO NOW ?
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I wouild suggest you just try to reach out to her. Don't be pushy though. If she is not 100% sure you are the father she may be keeping herself distant to try to not put any of you in an emotional situation that could be harder in the long run. It is great that you manned up, many don't. But think about it, what if you go through the entire process of pushing a relationship with her and the baby, not to mention the financial attributes of that commitment, and then find the baby is NOT yours? Just let her know you are there for her and mean it. She will come when and if the time is ready.
Do you know her family? If you do then use that relationship to your advantage. Not by calling them and keeping tabs on her, but rather by asking them what you can do, buy, or offer to help her. She is probably an emotional wreck right now, especially with not being sure who the father is.
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