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Becky - good luck with your trip. we'll be thinking of you!!!

So am I correct that Rain, Elaine and I are the last ones to still have a possible pregnancy? Rain and Elaine - you both have u/s's tomorrow, right? I hope you let us know asap. I'll be thinking of you. Mine's Friday morning.

Teresa - I know this probably sounds trite, but you are SO young! You have such a long and promising future ahead of you with many childbearing years! You might well be blessed with a healthy pregnancy next time, so don't give up hope. does your dh support your plans of having your tubes tied? I know you are doing what feels right to you, but geez - your future could be so bright!!! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.....

Becky - oops when I went to write before I accidentally put your name where mine was supposed to go - so it looks like my response is actually a post from you - sorry!!!!!! I did call the dr and spoke w/ the nurse. I asked her if there was a rise in hcg would that really be an indication of anything positive. She said it would and that if it went up they would give me another ultrasound and continue to monitor the levels. She said my first test came back at 70,000 which is well within the normal range - so I guess that is the number we are looking to beat. I'm not going to get my hopes up - I know it will be nothing short of a miracle if this pregnancy proceeds - at this point it almost seems cruel to be given a bit of hope. I cant stand this - will I still be sane by the time Friday rolls around?? haha. Hope you are feeling okay!!

Lesley - no I don't have an ultrasound appt but I hope when you go for yours that you get good news!!!!!

TERESA...Oh my gosh...I'm so sorry (*red face*). I guess I just a__sumed that it was the u/s that you were going in for. I hope your procedure goes well and with no pain. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow too. But yes, you have time on your side, which is a good thing. Like someone else said previously, let's hope the next time we're all on the other board sharing wonderful stories. ~Rain

Theresa- well that sounds like a very valid reason for waiting 6 months. I was happy to read that you are 23 - that is definately something to your advantage. I am sorry to hear about your Crohns disease - it must be very fustrating. Try to keep your chin up - I know it is hard and your going through alot.

LESLEY - Well, it looks like it's just you and me left this week for u/s. ***positive thoughts all around*** I can't wait for this day to be over with. Once I'm at home I'm not so antsy and tomorrow is just that much closer. Maybe we'll get some of Prebble's luck from previous posts. Wouldn't that be grand? Hey, I just scrolled up and found out that we're the same age too. ~Rain

Rain - wishing you TONS of luck tomorrow. write asap. ps - is Rain your real name or a pseudonym? It's neat! Elaine - did your dr. explain why there is no follow up u/s? is it a cost-savings thing (i.e.blood work is cheaper???). I keep telling myself I have ONE MORE (FULL) DAY of the unknown, and then I can get on with my life, one way or the other. The waiting / uncertainty is truly awful. Although, with respect to everyone else, I realize I'm blessed to have a glimmer of hope. it's just a scary place to be in when you can't be excited *or* grieve.

Hi Guys! Just wanted to send you guys lots of hugs and all the positive vibes in the world for your appts. tomorrow (and Friday Lesley). TERESA--good luck. From everything I've heard (I just talked to a friend who is a doc and he does these all the time) this is really a very minor procedure-[DON'T READ any further if you don't want to hear details]--it actually blew my mind to hear how non-invasive it is and just how easy it is to extract the unviable material. . . just using a syringe--there is no "sc___ping" or vacuum or anything scary like that--they are just pulling out fluid and that dislodges the gestational sac--- and they often do it right in the office with just mild sedation--though I'll be happy enough to be in a hospital and knocked out.--God, was that too much info?? ANYWAY--I know you'll do great--and you'll be that much closer to getting on with life again. I'm looking forward (well, perhaps that's not quite the phrase) to next Wednesday so i can be done too. ELAINE--good luck on the HCG results. I bet they'll be up and you'll get another u/s. I guess it makes sense that they wouldn't send you in for another u/s if the levels are going down. . . b/c there will be no question what is happening--but I don't know why it is such a big deal? Does your doc not have an u/s machine right there in the office to pull in anytime they want? My last doc did not have her own and they were only done on a certain day and it was much more of an event. My current doc's practice has at least 1 if not more available at anytime, so they have never denied me an u/s--even if it was just b/c I was nervous. Good luck!!! RAIN---my fingers, toes, and everything are crossed for you--and I can't WAIT to hear the tide of news here change with your positive results--to be followed quickly by Elaine and Lesley. Take care all!! Becky

Hi everyone. Today is the day. A few more hours and we will know. I will post as soon as I can. Thank you for all the good wishes. Sometimes I wish I could light all the candles that I could, pick up all the pennies that I can and then find some more to toss into pools of water. All the what-ifs are rushing through my head. I gave up trying to be brave and let myself cry last night. I've done all the worrying that I can. I'm pretty much ready to just go in now and know for sure. I'm very glad that I'm here, no one else except the two of us know that we're expecting, so this forum has been my lifeline. Thank you for being there. ~Rain (Lesley - this is my nickname) :)

Rain - good luck today - I wish the best for you. What time is your appointment? Before I go out today I will say a prayer for you. I have to say that regardless of what the outcome is at least now you will know - if your feeling like me it is the waiting and not knowing that drives you crazy. Please let us know how it goes!

Lesley - so we both find out tomorrow? You have your u/s and I find out about the bloodwork. If I am correct then it is you, me and Rain who are waiting for our answers and we will all find out by the end of the week. Becky - I'm sorry I think I forgot to mention that if the Hcg goes up that the dr will do the ultrasound. My dr is the best - he is so kind and personable. I have alot of confidence in him. I hope that you are doing okay - you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and I always enjoy reading your posts. Well it is time for me to get going to go do my bloodwork. Take care everyone!

Good morning dear friends...I hope you are all coping ok today. Huge day for Teresa and Rain. Write asap. Interestingly enough I have started to feel queasy the past couple of days. (I had brutal morning sickness with other pregnancies) and I'm wondering if that is a promising sign (don't want to be too hopeful) or if it's just because it's hot as all heck up here right now. I'll know soon enough......hope to hear from you all soon.

Hello everyone. I'm back. I truly wish I had good news to share. We knew as soon as the doctor held the probe steady. No heartbeat for our little one. I think we had worn out our nerves in the waiting area that when we were finally told by the doctor that he couldn't find a heartbeat, we were just numb. In a way, there is a certain relief in knowing. My doctor wanted to see me in 2 weeks so we can wait and see if I miscarry naturally. He was so good about it. He wanted us to have time to deal with the loss emotionally before trying to schedule a D&C. I feel okay so far. It probably just hasn't hit me yet. We were told the standard wait until I get another period before trying again. So many thoughts are cropping up in my head and I think I'm shutting them down so I can just deal with everything. Lesley and Elaine - I'm going to be thinking about you two and I'll be here tomorrow waiting for your results! Oh, and Lesley - I do think that the nausea is a good sign. Becky, you're still such an inspiration for most of us. Well, it didn't work out for us this time, but I'm not going to let this get me down for long. Maybe I'll still get my little bean before I turn 35. Take care everyone. ~Rain

RAIN---I'm so sorry!! I know what you mean, though--about even this horrible news being some kind of relief. I think part of the reason I'm doing pretty well now is that I still recall how AWFUL the waiting and anticipation was. . . and still feel somehow "better" compared to that. I'm sending you lots of strength and comfort. Are you "hoping" to spontaneously m/c?--or would you prefer a D&C? I'm on a business trip now--and have my D&C scheduled for next Wednesday. At this point I'm showing no signs of m/c and, honestly, am just hoping to get the D&C next week and be "done". Will your doc consider doing a D&C sooner than 2 weeks if that's what you decide you want after a few days of processing this news?? Sounds like you're right behind me in age. I'm 34.5 now, so no matter what #2 will be post 35. Oh well. . . you can't plan everything in life. Maybe this sounds crazy--and I shouldn't be rushing things forward so much, but what would you (and Katie and all the other "graduates" of this board) think of us starting a Yahoo chat group or something--to stay in touch and keep each other up and supported---and to share each others struggles and celebrations??? ELAINE--are you going in tomorrow to get your results and u/s? --or would you have to wait for the u/s until after the weekend?? I'm anxious FOR you!! (an indicator of just how prone I am to get anxious) Good luck sister!! Becky