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ps - becky - guess I get to join your yahoo chat after all ;)

OH LESLEY!!!!---Noooooo!! WAIT!! Just wait. I was thinking about your situation last night. . . and are they sure they are seeing a FETAL heartbeat?--or just an artifact of yours???? I've just NEVER NEVER heard of a heartbeat being heard at 4 weeks--like they said they did last week. And now, you're just 5 weeks, right? Even at 5 weeks, hearing the heartbeat is rare, and if they did . . it would likely be slow b/c it just started. Ugggh!! Ask your doc all these questions--search the web to see if you can find ANY doc_mentation of heartbeats even being heard that early. Could you ask the doc to do the u/s his/her self???? Oh lesley. . . I'm just beside myself---and I'm sure you are just a mess. . . I'm SO sorry you're going through this. . .I just don't believe it!! I can't believe it. Make sure you write down all your questions for the doc--so you don't forget anything. Oh sweetie. . . I wish I could give you a real hug--this waiting is AWFUL!! And I still believe you shouldn't be subjected to this. Remind me why you went in so early for an u/s. . .??? Love and hugs. Becky

Lesley - Oh please wait to hear what the doctor has to say before throwing in the towel. I wish your doctor had done the test personally. I know that waiting is awful, but we're here for ya! Lots of hugs! ~Rain

Quick little poll. Just wanted to get this straight in my head. This is baby number what again for everyone? For us, this was to be our first. I know some of you already have little ones. I think Teresa has a little one already? ~Rain

RAIN--I have one beautiful dd, Gracie, who is 2.5. I'm missing her terribly while I'm here on business. hey, BTW--I don't want to try to influence you either way, but just FYI I thought you might what some perspective on at least one situation on waiting to spontaneously m/c. . . If my pregnancy had worked, I would be 9 weeks today. The embyro stopped growing 3 weeks ago and I still have no signs of m/c. My D&C is scheduled for next Wednesday and I have not doubts things will not change before then.I don't know why my body isn't recognizing this as a "lemon"--but I guess it's just as well. . . the D&C is fine with me--mostly I waited b/c of this trip--and b/c I didn't want to have any fodder for my imagination any time in the future if I felt I had moved too quickly. . . KWIM? It might not be a bad idea to schedule the D&C for next week, just so you're on the calendar--then decide later. . . TERESA----so glad you came out of things so smoothly.--At least physically. But it sounds like you're doing well mentally--the pre-hospital breakdown was probably very healthy and normal. You are a strong woman and an inspiration for us all!! Congratulations on making it through this and now having a "fresh start". ---p.s. I think showers are fine--but let me know what you learn about baths---I think I may need to cancel Gracie's swim lessons this summer if I'm not allowed to get in a pool for weeks. . . -----Take care all--Lesley keep us posted. I've got to get to work!! Becky

You know, I love you guys for trying to be positive, but I really think it's all downhill from here. I will ask the dr. when she calls, but I don't see how it could improve. the tech today said that last week I was measuring 6w3d (which stumps me), but didn't comment on the growth (I dont think she wanted to overstep her bounds since they really aren't meant to disclose results). I initiallyl had the u/s b/c I started to spot (a lot), then the beta levels didn't rise appropriately. and that's what took me to last week's u/s. I just can't believe this has to continue. I really needed either 1. hope or 2. closure. I do feel like a mess, to be honest. Just so incredibly sad that there is this (slowing dying) little one inside of me. I'm so tired, and cranky (from the heat - have I mentioned that 1,000 times?) and sad that I want to curl up in a ball, but life goes on. To answer your question, Rain, I am incredibly blessed with 2 yr old ds and 1 yr old dd. I guess I didn't want to mention that because some of you might not think I deserve to share in the experience, since I already have 2 great kids. but regardless i sure do love this little one, and grieve the impending loss. I know I'm lucky, but I'm awfully sad too :*(

Lesley - I was asking about other children purely out of curiosity. All of us deserve to have these babies that we want so much whether they are our first or our fifth (or more!). And it's just a way to get to know each other a little better. Becky - can't wait for our little yahoogroup so we can have a little more freedom in sharing :). Where's Elaine? I hope she gets that phone call soon. Ah, all I know is that when I go through my first pregnancy, I'll have the rest of you to quiz about this and that :). ~Rain

Hi guys - finally I got my call - you have no idea the c___p I went through today trying to get these results but I got good news. My hcg is rising it went from around 70,000 to 83,000. I asked the nurse if this was a good rise she said yes, I asked her if t he baby's heartbeat was very slow or if she had seen rates like this recover before, she said she had seen them pick up. So they want to repeat the u/s in two weeks. So I still have a chance here ladies!!! This will be a very long two weeks. Thank you for all of your good wishes for me. I dont think I would have made it through this week without you guys. Lesley - I agree with Rain dont give up yet - it is still very early. Rain - to answer your question I have a daughter who will be 2 next week. I am going to go take a nap with her now because it had all ready been a very long day. Take care everyone!

well this is just fantastic - my doctor (and her nurse) have left the office for the weekend without calling me to discuss the u/s results. they were supposed to get back to me by noon. GREAT. Now I have the weekend to dwell over all this with a bunch of unanswered questions. This sure is a tough one to deal with...........

Elaine - I'm so relieved for you. I sure hope that one of us gets through all this with a happy ending!!!!!

Becky - I'm also excited to get the yahoo group going, like Rain said. do you want me to go ahead and create it, or would you rather do it when you get back from your trip? It was your idea, afterall, so I don't want to be too intrusive!

Rain - I know what you mean about being curious. I also look forward to getting to know you all better! I just sometimes wonder if it's greedy of me to be longing for a third, when some can't even have one.....

Lesley--that's total BS!! Don't hesitate to call the doc on call and get some answers. . even if they are generalities and not specific to your case. So you were (supposedly) measuring 6w when you thought you were 4w? From your calculations of s_x, period, etc. is that even POSSIBLE?? If it's not. . . screw them--this is all just a big boondoggle--probably spurred by a bad u/s tech!! I am SOooo sorry you are goin through this!! I KNOW--I really do KNOW that the hope is harder to deal with than the acceptance of a bad outcome. I was SO there. If, for your mental health, that's where you need to be right now, that's ok. I won't keep egging you on. But if you REALLY believe/know that you're only 5 weeks. . . this just doesn't make sense!! How big did the critter measure today?? Lots of hugs!! Becky (p.s. you "deserve" as many children as you darn well decide. No one here would think differently and you don't need to be "ashamed" of having two lovely kids. It doesn't change the pain and anxiety you're going through now! Becky

I agree you need to call the on call dr - I am sure that there is still someone left in the office who can help you - t hat is total c___p to expect you to wait - they did the same thing to me I was on hold for the results - they hung up on me - I called back and got the answering svc who said they went into a meeting and I could get my results monday - I had the oncall dr call me back and explained what was going on - I had my results in less than 10 minutes.

oh c___p Ive done it again - the last post was from me to Lesley - I keep messing up where to put my name! UGH!

LOL - thought so, Elaine ;) I know that whomever I reach (at the office) will just say "you need to follow up with your own dr. on Monday unless you're miscarrying in which case go to the hospital, blah blah blah". (I've dealt with them on similar - but less emotional issues before - the women at my dr.'s office are EXTREMELY unhelpful. I hate to use the term b*tchy, but they really are. Always sullen and snappy. can't stand it there...but have been with my dr. with past 2 pg's and I love her. and it's VERY hard to get a dr. around here. HUGE shortage. Sigh.......... How's San Diego, Becky?