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Oh you poor thing! I had a csection so I can't give you advice other than next time do the csection! Oh, that is just awful what your going through. Maybe insurance will cover reconstruction?

omg, I feel so bad for you!! I don't have an adivce for you and don't know anything about the american health system but I really hope you get better! Oh my gosh, I complained about having an Epis..... you poor poor thing!! :(

Maybe you can look into some books on this. I know of "Ever Since I had My Baby" and "Pelvic Health and Childbirth" (www.pelvicfloor.com). Also, you could look into medical journals, perhaps at a local university. These sites may help too or lead you to others: http://www.radmid.demon.co.uk/perineum.htm http://topics-az.parenthood.com/articles.html?article_id=6223#3 http://www.babycenter.com/comments/baby/physrecovery/2434?i=0 and heres a link to a pp here about this: http://www.pregnancy-info.net/QA/answers-c_section_after_3rd_degree_tear_/

Jessica, I am going through the exact same thing. I had my first baby who weighed in a 6.9 (not very big, I know) and suffered a fourth degree tear. My whole labor process was a nightmare. I went in on a Sat. night at 10:30 because my water broke. I was only 35 wks. Twenty two hours later, after more Pitocin than I could ever imagine, epideral booster after booster, sometimes barely coherant, and not dialating nearly fast enough, the nurses (without the doctor therein the beginning) started me pushing I believe at 9.5 cm dialated, I had my beautiful baby girl with the help of an episiotomy and vaccuum. I don't remember the actual moment she was born because I was so exhausted and pa__sed out. She had the cord wrapped around her neck with a knot in it. She is a miracle baby! The doctor said I would never have another baby v____ally. My husband, his mother,and my mother along with myself were all BEGGING for a c-section. I didn't realize then how bad a fourth degree tear is. The next morning the resident came in a said she felt so bad about what had happened. She didn't check my sutures. The doctor himself never came to check me. He didn't even send me home with pain meds or antibiotics. My husband threatened to call the hospital administrator if I didn't get meds to go home. Eventually, an appalled PA from the doctors office sent me home with meds. Actually increased me from what I was on in the hospital. She said that if I wasn't careful, I could develop a fistula which is a hole between the rectum and v____a. Sure enough, with my first bowel movement stool came through my v____a. I was devestated. Went to my ob and he referred me to a urogyno who told me that there was not only a fistula, but also the inner and outer sphincter mucsles were torn. They are what give you control to hold your bowel movements. He said surgery was needed but I would have to wait about 6 wks. He also referred me to a colon/rectal surgeon. I didn't have the infections you talk about, but I don't have complete control of my bowels and have had accidents. I am not able to go to far from home and if I do, I have to scope on restrooms.I understand about the wiping and wiping. It takes me about a good half hour to get cleaned up, usually with my baby girl crying in the background. I have had an ultrasound to test the muscles and this week have another (very unpleasant) test to check the nerve function. My surgery is scheduled for the week after next. The recovery is long...about a week in the hosp and one months bedrest. The surgery itself only has a 60% chance of working the first time, but I don't see any alternative. As you know, who wants to live like this? I don't mean to scare you at all, and your tear may not be as severe as mine but I wanted to pa__s on what I know. To me, there is no question about getting the surgery. The tough part about this as I am sure you know, is the toll it takes on you not only physically, but emotionally as well. Thank goodness for wonderful husbands. If you would like to talk more about it or just want to offer eachother support, feel free to email me @ sakfite@aol.com. It would be wonderful to have someone to talk to. Take care and hang in there

Oh my god!! I feel soo sorry for both of you. I tore with my dd (5 weeks old) and had to get stiches. I think I overhead the midwife & dr talking as a 3rd degree tear but I didn't know/care caz I was so happy at the birth of my daughter. I haven't been checked since, I go in for the appt in a week. oh my god! I can't imagine what you are going through and I thought it was hurting bad for me. Good luck with everything! take care!

I just had my daughter on July 18.....I tore like you wouldn't believe....not sure what degree it was, certain it was the worst kind...probably 50-100 stiches...took him an hour and a half to st_tch up...I tore from my urethra to my a___l area....absolutely horrible....my st_tches are still there, its been 2 weeks now....and the bleeding isn't that bad, but there is such a foul odor, no matter how clean I keep myself. I think I'm going to call my doctor about it tomorrow. I was pretty much reconstructed also and have been so depressed about it. My doctor also made the comment it was the worst tear he had ever seen...not sure what was what. That was just so traumatic for me to hear following the delivery of my first child. I hope everything is healing ok down there, but just not sure.....I'm so depressed about it and hoping it doesn't affect having more children OR having s_x again....

thank you everyone for your stories and advice. ARD i would call the dr if your having foul odor that is a sign of infection. you dont want to wait cause it just gets worse. do as many sitz baths as possible my dr said 2-3 a day cause it helps heal and keep it clean...thank you everyone...jess