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franny im 18 & lastchance no my name is Shevane x

generally no circ_mstances hadnt changed from when i first found out so i know that really 4 his good that it was probably the best decision. i just thought i wouldnt be able 2 deal with it (and now i KNOW i cant) thinking about everything i just know i COULD have made it work. the father is still gone, but i am suing him for child support, tho the 1st is not his biologically i was raped

hmm that was supposed to say 'but i canT demand him back'

I think you need to talk to someone who has delt with adoption already. I have msn if you would like to talk, as i'm not on here much anymore. But iw ill say that YOU CAN demand him back. You signed up for an OPEN adoption and them not letting you see your son is a closed adoption....and YOU CAN DO something about it. I would contact the agency you went to and get yourself some legal advice. If you want him back then get him back. I'm sorry for those parents and things but they have DONE VERY WRONG by shutting you out when it was suppossed to be an open adoption. You need to act now...the more you wait the more chance you have of not getting him back.

my msn is nanajua at gmail dot com

hi all i was told i couldnt get him back after signing him over..i signed over my rights so i aint allowed 2 have him back. well my son is nearly 8 months now and considering i had an open adoption ive seen him once and got one picture. ive complained about this and said im not happy but the adoptive family are being quite nasty. they were also so good with me but it seemed like they were just being like that so i wouldnt change my mind. the mother has threatened to have my a__s kicked if i keep sayin i want more contact, the father raped me when i turned up there. i tried 2 press charges but they told the police i was psycho and that im sayin it 2 get my son back, which they believed and wouldnt pursue it, then said they would let me have contact if i didnt go any further with it, and when i agreed they later said i gotta prove i wont go to the police and i gotta wait if i want it badly enough. i dont want my child with these people. but they are clever, they only say these things over the phone. they make any email or writing correspondence all nice so i dont have evidence of their threats. i am just so down with all this i miss my son terribly its like a piece of my heart got cut out.....i even stupidly took an overdose and thankfully survived and vowed to never put my other children at risk like that again. the father of my son and my daughter is back around, tho we aint together, i dont wanna be with a man right now, i just need his support, not a relationship. hes ok, but dont feel it as much i seem to be... he maintains it was the right decision and i need 2 get over it. i guess i do but it hurts u know....i just wanna see my baby :(

my email is shevvimerrilyn at googlemail.com x x

um...try recording the phone conversations...duh.

Bummer! It was a mistake for the hospital to put the baby in your arms after it was born. The adoptive parents are not prizes, either. Now they are scared you want the baby back, and are keeping you at arms length. Much probably depends on exactly how the adoption papers are worded, and since they prob paid the attorney to draw them up, they are likely in their favor. Hard as it may be, you may in the long run have less grief if you get counselling to get over your feelings. What advice does the adoption agency give? Perhaps the adoptive parents will be more reasonable once you make it plain that occasional visitation is all you really expect. Good luck!

shevvi- did you say the adoptive father to your child raped you?? I agree that you need to abv, record your phone calls. If you truly think these people will hurt your child you need to stand up, YES they may not let you see him but your already not seeing him so you arent really loosing out on much, you need to do what ever it takes if you think your child is in danger to fix it, i dont know the laws on adoption or if you can even get him back, i would higher a lawyer and take them to court, once of course you have phone calls to prove your side, Goodluck to you, if you would like to talk on msn mine is perfect_innocent_angel69 at hotmail.com

Wtf, couldn't you prove it if he raped you? Like bruises and such... I a__sume you didn't just lay there, right? There was some kind of struggle? I mean I've been raped before but the reason he was never caught is because I didn't know his full name or where to find him. Anyway, I would not let my child go anywhere near those kinds of people and would do whatever it takes to get him back.

oh and when i was raped when i conceived my 1st child.. they found that guy not guilty too.. and im sure thats gonna be brought up and go against me

Can you ask your parents to help you out financially for a lawyer? Record the phone conversations with a hand held tape recorder.

Hey sweetie, I was skimming through your story and the replies. Hope I don't offend you by skimming, I have a major headache tonight, so forgive me if I miss a bit of obvious information. I don't know where you're from or how old you are, but you need to start taking some very careful steps in your situation. 1. Lay low. Lay off the family, lay off the claims, lay off making your face or voice known to anyone who has to do with the adoption. Second, get involved with someone you can talk to who won't take action. For example a support group through your YWCA or YMCA-they have many support programs for women, and it's free.

The reason why I say lay low is not to give up but to make your name more credible. The thing about crazy people is they always make a misstep. Let them!!! A few things are lacking in your story so I don't know exactly what to tell you. For example, you said the man who has your son raped you when you went over there. Did he leave evidence??? Did you report it right away??? Is he the type that makes moves on you or is inappropriate with you when you are alone with him??? All in all, you are the one who is in the situation so you have to calm down your emotions and be very smart and judge these people. If this man is the type who will keep messing with you, then get some legal advice about the situation, and the next time you get around him, make let him go on and try to make his move. The lawyers may have a clever way to catch him in the act, and you will have his a__s. Also look into the legal loopholes of adoption cases. See if you can find situations where people got their children back after signing them over.

You are right to be scared, because yes they will be smart and try not to make any evidence of their nasty side, and the rape case before will be used against you if you get them in the right situation where they want to use it. I was in a situation with my son where I was raped, and I wasn't smart by reporting it or going to the hospital for them to take the evidence. Well, I figured the guy would just go away. He did, then a month after my son was born her tried to use the court to put in in total and complete fear. I knew from the beginning that if I got overly emotional and tried to fight too hard then he would try a full b__wn custody case-like trying to get custody of my son. Over 6 months I studied, layed low and followed the rules-didn't even bring up the rape in court. I found out all of my rights and I pushed them in the right situations. I knew this man was a danger to my child because he was friggin insane and would just fly off the handle at any time. So the courts try to give him his visitation rights and push for the amount of time he wants, but I had learned that he really has limits of that and I pushed for it. Then when my son got older, he wanted overnight visits, I pushed the whole-"I'm b___stfeeding" issue and got it so he couldn't have overnights. Over time I just tried to have faith that he'd mess up somewhere or get frustrated that his little charade didn't seem to be working. Dude, I didn't even call the cops when he came to my house to get my son and slammed me up against the wall and started groping me. I knew there wasn't enough physical evidence and it could look bad on my part like I was making it up so he wouldn't be able to see his son. A year pa__sed and he started visiting less and less, then he tried one last big attempt. Accept he made a big mistake. He disappeared with my son and so wasn't at his home when it came time for me to pick up my son. I waited calmly, called my lawyer, then called the police. So it was doc_mented. He returned and I stayed calm, but he didn't. He didn't expect me to take the right actions, he just expected it to drive me insane. So he ended up moving out of town, and wanted overnight visits, then he was planning on moving out of state and wanted the right to have my son for days when he came back to visit (mainly to look good to his family). I of course said no, and the court agreed with me, because of the way he acted that day, and because he also had mentioned taking my son out of town in front of the police that day-and he had a restraining order on me that my son could not leave the county-therefore he broke his own restraining order by taking my son out of town. So he screwed himself on that-and he hasn't bothered us since. I'm telling you this story because sometimes you can really get people by sitting back, being patient and not showing any weakness or fear. Crazy folks like to have many victims, and those people are thriving maybe even getting off on how they are messing with you. Don't let them have it. Over the next few months, play by their rules but learn your rights in the meantime, learn as much as your can, talk to as many people as you can and you may find the loophole so that when these people misstep, you can get your child away from them, and maybe even get him back!!! But the most important thing is to get him away from them. If that man raped you, then he does not need to be raising a child. Hope I helped, and really start looking into support systems and counseling in your area-it helps so much more than just for your mental state. It's networking and you may find people who have been in your shoes and will beable to get valuable info from their mistakes and successes. God bless you