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I helped plan mine. I, too, don't like surprises. I explained that to the girl that was throwing my shower. I told her that I wanted to be involved because 1) I dont like surprises and 2) it would help me pa__s the time since i was getting so anxious. Just tell her how you feel and that you'd like to be involved somewhat. You dont have to know EVERYTHING, but maybe you can help pick out the food, plates, etc. There is nothing wrong with you asking to be somewhat involved.

Every time i mention helping my family-in-law just tune me out. They always just say they have everything under control and when i mention it to DH he just b__ws it by saying they are excited and this is they only thing they feel they can do on their own. My own mother thinks it's funny and is invovled and since i have been staying home with my other kids i have nothing to do with my time. I'm starting to get bored with being pregnant and i know it probably shouldn't be a big deal but i just want to have a say in what's going on. The primary host is my sister and mother in law and they have such different taste in everything from cake to decorations I'm ready to scream.

Girls - I just had my baby shower - I had no input and no say in anything and you know what? IT WAS AWESOME!!! It isn't anything I would have planned and it was better than anything I could have come up on my own.....My mom and mom-in-law planned it.....my mom knows me pretty well and the food and cake were awesome - they did it tea house style with scones and tea sandwiches (again nothing I would have thought of) but it was all delicious and my mom got me a cake she knew I would love - I am not a fan of b___ter cream frosting - I like whipped cream frosting - well it went off without a hitch and it was gorgeous - prizes were great and they really did a nice job - I would have never trusted my Mom-in-law at all and it turns out she knows me pretty well also...LOL - I know it's hard - just try to relax ....they want to surprise you and do something nice for you look at the flip side - planning any kind of party/shower can be stressful - like Amanda said - I am sure there are somethings you can help with and not have ALL the details - even if you don't like surprises - who ever is throwing it does - humor them - it might be even better than you thought - plus I don't know how old any of you are but I am 33 and back in my mom's day the mom to be never knew anything about the shower....everything was a surprise so that's where some of them are coming from I really don't think they are doing it to aggravate you guys...good luck and I hope you are as happy with your showers as I was with mine

I agree with cors1wfe. Just let them plan the shower and enjoy the outcome. Besides, you get to do all the planning for the baby and take him or her home with you after the delivery. Let them have this little part. I am sure you will be very happy with everything. I had nothing to do with my baby shower for my first child. This time my mom is doing it, and all she has asked me is what kind of food I want. My shower is in about 5 weeks. I will be 30 weeks on thursday.

Thanks ladies for the input. I understand what your saying i'm just letting controling side show it's face and i'm moody about not being included lol. I don't expect anything huge i just wanted to be a part of it. That's awsome that you had a shower with a cute theme cors1wfe. how many weeks are you?

hey lilybug, i had two, one with family and the other with friends. the one with family i was involved quite heavily in the planning becuase it was my mil, i even paid for things. but the ones with friends i wasn't involved in at all. and i have to say i enjoyed myself better at the firends one. no cleaning, no setting up nothing, it was the most ha__sle free. so i have to say it's more fun to be surprised. the family one was great too, but i knew exactly what was going on and was a part of everything even the decorating.....

Hey lilybug - in a way I kinda wish I was having someone organise mine for me - i am actually organising everything myself - doing the food and what not - which is all good - but how awesome would it be to just walk in - and SUPRISE! Its all done and you can relax and be the star of the day (which you are!!). I understand its probably a bit overwhelming as you hate suprises but try to enjoy it and I bet your family love feeling like they are doing this special thing for you..... :)

i know how you feel. my family tried doing that to me. I wanted to help plan mine. so i kind of told them what i wanted and what i did not want. there were certain games that they were planning that would just make me feel bad about myself... like the whole, "guess how big around mommy is with a string" i gave them a list of things that I didnt want done, and things that i did want done... like everyone bring a pack of diapers for a door prize. stuff like that.

Lily - I am 33 weeks today - and you know what - my mom and mom in law decided to buy my crib and I told them I DON'T CARE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE SO LONG AS IT'S WHITE this is my 3rd baby and it really just didn't matter to me - so anyway my mom-in-law called me every other day asking me if I like this style or that - so I told my mom - she is driving me nuts - please tell her for the 100th time that my only request is that it be white - LOL - so I can't imagine if they were to ask me about the shower .....LOL - it's kind of hard to not have a say but it turned out so nice I couldn't have done it any better myself.....and they had everyone bring diapers and that was awesome I got enough diapers for at least the first 3 months if not longer - it was so great to just show up eat open gifts and leave while everyone else cleaned up and stuff - it's going to be fine and probably even better than you hoped for! I am sure of it!

Well in that case..let the surprise happen. :-D This whole going in eating presents and no cleaning sounds really good right now. It's getting hot out. I just wish i knew when this was going to take place so i know when i can start shopping. I can't help going into babies r us every chance i get... and this is baby number 3 for me also cors1wfe but i'm such a controling punk sometimes i want to be involved in everything. Anyways thanks again ladies for the advice.

Lily- we all have our "thing" that really annoys us....I just know you will be pleasantly surprised! Please make sure you give us an update as to when it takes place ....and how great it turned out! We are trying to save money so my shopping is on hold for necessities and I got so much stuff it was awesome - I only need a few things to feel really ready....but I got almost $200 in gift cards for that stuff....so I am getting very excited- And stop thanking us thats what we are here for! hugs and good luck! oh by the way I have 2 boys and am expecting a girl! I am so excited I can't sit still

Aww the first girl! I have a boy and a girl already and am expecting a boy.We actually just got back from our 7 month ultrasound and to our surprise the technician did a quick 3 D ultrasound too! The poor baby had his hands in his face so all we saw was hands and a tiny nose. I really do want to shop and have saved money to do so because i do not want to go to the trouble of having to return doubles of things. I know you guys are here for advice. I do come on very often but i never post or join in the conversations. but i've been feeling quite alone so here i am Have a good day girls!