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you went through a bad experiance i believe you going threw that has made you a strong and want to be not like those bad people. you know what is right for your baby and you know you wont do wrong. Believe in yourself and know your a good person.

Hello! I can't say I can feel what you are going through because I was never abused but I do know being a mom is very hard but very rewarding. I have 3 and nothing about any of them has been easy. I love them all more than anything but I miss the time before kids when dh and I could do anything we wanted. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, the first few months are rough with a baby. It might help for you to talk about your past experiences with a professional. I know I don't like the idea of sharing feelings with a stranger but sometimes it really can help you understand why you feel the way you do. It sounds like you could have a little postpartum depression too. Depression is a real thing and should be taken seriously, talk to your Dr. I hope you feel better soon and you are a good mom!

If you're feeling really depressed maybe you could check in with your doctor. Postpartum depression can hit anytime that first year after your baby is born - it's not always an immediate thing. Also, I have an almost 19 month old and I"m having my second in 9 weeks! I know what it's like to lose your freedom - it's really hard sometimes. Especially for use since we were only married for 7 months before I got pregnant the first time. I do remember reading somewhere that people who have been abused tend to have issues during or after pregnancy - it's like the emotions of having a child bring up all the c___p that's been repressed. I work with kids who have been abused in every way you can imagine and trust me, it takes a lot of time to heal from the past. I would highly recommend getting some counseling - or get a book to read up on the affects of abuse. There is one book called "The Wounded Heart" that is excellent at addressing those issues. In the meantime, remember that being a mom is really hard and the changes to your relationship can be crazy. Try to get a sitter and get out for a bit - even if it's just for a walk or a cup of coffee. You need to recharge yourself every now and then too. :)

i would a__sume that the reason all this is just now hitting is because your hormones are just now finally leveling out to where they are supposed to be... so before it was easy to surpress these thoughts and feelings due to your hormones being off but now that they have straightened out you cant surpress it anymore. and that is normal. i would reccomend talking to your doctor about it though because without some kind of help it might not go away too easily on its own... i also had my dd in dec and was full of energy for the first 2 months but here lately have noticed a severe drop in it, as well as noticing more aches and pains that i hadn't noticed before. and i attribute that to my hormones finally leveling. good luck and don't ever doubt your ability to do better than your mother my mother also abused me and i am 100% sure i will never allow the mistakes she made to affect me negatively in raising my daughter in fact i think it has helped me a lot become that much more clear on the method and path i wish to follow to raise her... basically do all the opposite of what my mother did. gl

Thanks for all the advice! My husband has been trying to get me to go to counseling but honestly I think I would just puke if I had to go. I feel like I have been in counseling half my life because of my childhood and different things. My family was always in counseling growing up. I just hate the smell of the places. I am just really discouraged. I don't think my husband really understands how bad its been hurting me. He says to read a book or something and I have been but I feel he pushes it off like its nothing and I really need him right now. Just to tell me it's going to be okay. Some days I just want to go away.

hi nurs2b21, i was basically neglected as a child, and i have this fear of being a cold and distant mother. what i did was find a counselor who specializes in mother/child bonding. i havent given birth yet, but just talking about my concerns and fears has brought a new comfort to my life, and i feel so much more confident. i know you shudder at the idea of counseling, but if you find someone who is an expert in this area, you may have a new perspective... it also sounds like there may be some postpartum depression going on. there is no shame in seeking help. it is an extremely common occurance, annd you will be a better mom for it. good luck!

Another idea, if you're up for it, is to look for a Myotherapist. They are basically a physical/ma__sage therapist but they specialize in the emotional side of things. You know how stress affects our bodies, well, we tend to store stress in certain areas - and especially in abuse/molestation - you can have a lot of c___p built up. I had actually gone to one by accident for neck and back pain years ago and had never heard of myotherapy - but it brought up some stuff I never even thought about - and honestly, it really worked. It's kind of interesting stuff. Anyways, the woman who was working on my had been abused by her father since she was maybe 4?? So she had been to a myotherapist and that's how she got into it - it really worked. So it's an idea. Also, PLEASE see someone if you are feeling depressed. PPD is real and can be treated and it is NOTHING to be ashamed about. As for your husband, well, sometimes they just don't get it unless they are a woman - and have gone through the stuff we've been through. Counseling isn't for everyone,but if you can find a really good one that specializes in mommy issues - or whatever - it could be good for you. In the meantime, we're here for you if you need to talk. :)

Thank you sooo much! I am doing a little better today...but I have good days and bad days. I don't understand why this is all of the sudden coming up in my life. Last night I just cried and cried and me and my husband had a really long talk about it. I have never heard of myotherapy...I will look into that. Thanks!