Very Personal Sex Question
6 Replies
 | mgn - February 12 |
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ok ladies, i have nobody i can talk with about this so i am coming to you. my husband and i have always had a very healthy s_x life. that was until our 5 month sonogram. it was like once he saw our little one on the screen he no longer wants to have s_x with me. he has even told me this. he says it just feels strange and not right. i am now 7 months and we have had s_x once since the sonogram. i am upset as i feel a closer bond with him when we connect on a s_xual level. i know once i deliver (when i feel better of course) that he will be back to his old self but until then i just dont know what to do. we gave each other massages the other night which was nice but still not the same. anybody else out there dealing w this? any suggestions? is this normal? should i worry? thanks
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It is normal for some men to react that way. They just worry so much about hurting the baby or that the baby will see or something like that. You really need to tell your husband how you feel-- that you miss the closeness you feel. Maybe if he can tell you why he doesn't feel right about s_x-- see if he can narrow it down to worrying about hurting the baby or what it is and maybe if you can show him the anatomy and how the baby is sealed off and protected it will make him feel better. I dunno. I know I'd go insane if I only got s_x once every two months!! The way I look at it, he'll probably be a really good dad since he's already acting funny about a baby. :) Most men like to deny the existence of a baby until it's there screaming in their face, hehe. I wouldn't worry about it too much but I would definitely tell your husband how you feel and see if he'll open up to you more.
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YES. but for us it started sooner. I haven't had s_x for four months!! and yes it began with the first ultrasound where he saw the baby moving around. since then we've "tried" if you know what mean, but no luck and now he just pats me on my head and just doesn't have an answer. now that i'm bigger he for sure has no interest in s_x not even trying. so i know him pretty well and i know not to take it personally but holy moly, i know how you feel and it's frustrating. mind you he's very much so cuddly and snuggling he's very affectionate just doesn't want to have s_x with me lol. sorry i don't have a solution for you, jsut that i'min the same boat.
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I know how you feel. My husband has also backed off. Earlier in the pregnancy I was nervous to do it and then when I got bigger he just didn't really feel comfy with it. I do miss the intimacy, but I'm so uncomfortable right now that it's not something I'm really wanting either. What is more important to me is that he is excited and connected to the baby. and so considerate of me and my needs.I'm
hoping that once that baby is here and I'm back to feeling human we can get to it again...
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Yup. I know how you feel. Sort of. Although, I'm pretty sure that if I mentioned wanting to have s_x, my husband would be ready in 2 seconds! lol. I deal with depression, and a major side-effect is a lack of libido. So, I literally can go for months without s_x. It drives my hubbie nuts, but he's so supportive. We're really not sure how this whole pregnancy thing actually happened though...lol. Although, I have to say...now that I'm 38 weeks, I'm craving s_x like crazy. And I'm so big and so very uncomfortable that it's impossible! Ironic. I do know that it's totally normal for guys to freak out and not want to have s_x with their pregnant woman...it's a mind thing. Just you wait...he'll be wanting it as soon as that baby's out, and then it'll be the last thing on your mind! I wouldn't worry if I were you. It's great that he's willing to talk about it with you though. Hang in there!
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I can somewhat relate to you. He was very scared to have s_x for like the first month after we found out i was pregnant and it was a problem because i felt like he didn't want me and it hurt my feelings like there was something wrong with me... but he just kept telling me he just felt weird to know that there was a baby in there and he is in there... but after the first month or so it did get better but then as my belly grew some it kind of made it awkward for him again to feel my belly so we had to find positions to do it in where he wasn't feeling my belly and it is better for me so i don't feel as self concious either.... but even when we hug sometimes he is like backing off a little like he for some reason thinks we'll squish her... (not gonna happen but he has it set in his mind) so it has zapped intimacy.. no doubt.. although we do still have s_x weekly.... i do understand what you're saying because it is nothing near as much or as intimate as it use to be... but you just really have to listen to him and his reasons as well... it seems to be a common thing for men to feel these kind of things... and i think we as the pregnant woman forget that the man also has issues or things they feel or go through with our pregnancies as well...
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I think most men respond in this way...even if its not ENTIRELY like this. I have had a heightened libido since pregnancy and hubby has too...but he is very very cautious and gentle for fear of harming baby. i tell him he's ok but he doesnt listen. Have you already talked to him about it? If not...try talking to him and a__sure him that he wont hurt the baby...and if that doesnt work...SEDUCE HIM lol. j/k. I hope it works out for you :-)
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