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I don't really know where to start off with this, so I guess I'll preface it with the fact we met "accidentally" at a small get-together last June. Noone had "set us up", we just met and something clicked. Everything was amazing, I mean, something I've never felt for anyone or just in general before. We never really fought, had disagreements but small ones and they were trivial and moved on. Wanted a baby together so bad (yeah, it was soon I know). So finally she ended up getting pregnant.
The first few weeks of pregnancy after we found out were "business as usual". We were great, thinking of baby names, lots of happy s_x, etc. She also is (was) on anti-depressants. Her psych took her off them when she told him she was pregnant. Basically after those few weeks of "normalcy" she started to change drastically.
Not to make this post too long for anyone to actually want to read, I'll sum it up to this:
It seems as if she's getting closer with her mother and further apart from me. She wants no s_x, and when we tried the other night it just didn't seem the same, we even had to stop because our son woke up. She thought I was mad about that or upset about it, I wasn't at all. He's my world, I love him more than anything. I was upset because of how "off" it felt with her. It mad me so goddamned miserable reminescing [sp?] of how we used to have such pure, intimate, natural amazing mind-blowing s_x, and now it's "wanna have s_x? no? ok sorry for asking".
I mean, how could such an incredible relationship turn to utter garbage just because of pregnancy? It's making me so freaking resentful and I hate the fact it is. She makes no effort to make me happy in any way, yet I'll go out of my way to do whatever I can for her to try to make her happy. Lately it's been changing my mindset due to a past long-term relationship that was similar minus the pregnancy.
I mean, I can't even touch her without her going to guard her body from my touch. She freaks the h__l out on me, screams, says nasty things, it's just unreal.
This is my first child. Everyone keeps telling me "it's temporary, it's just the pregnancy". She gets tired of me bringing up how I'm worried about us, the way things are or aren't going, etc. She just gets frustrated and wants to change the subject. "I don't know what to tell you" "I keep telling you I'm off my meds and I'm having a shitty pregnancy" etc. I just don't know what to do. I'm honestly ready to slit my wrists because the girl I fell in love with and only felt this way about in my life, seems to be gone.
Sorry to be so EMO. That's not me, never was, but this experience has been changing me so drastically I don't even think I recognize myself or know myself anymore.
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