Fiance Wants To Give Our Baby Away When Baby Is Born
2 Replies
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My fiance and I met at the end of June 2008. I asked her to marry me in October and gave her an engagement ring. Things were perfect and then, she got pregnant in november. A couple months later, things began to go downhill. A month ago, she told me she didn't want to keep the baby or marry me anymore. I figured it was just hormones because she has been on some serious mood swings lately, but I overlook that because she is not herself right now. I love her more than life itself. Now, we each have 3 kids from a previous marriage and this pregnancy was not planned. She has given me the ring back and asked for her housekey back and wants to give the baby to her twin sister and her husband who live almost 4 hours away. I have been opposed to this until just recently bacause I am finally trying to think of what would be best for the baby and not just what "I" want. I am a nervous wreck over this because the baby is my child and he always will be. I don't want to lose him or my fiance but I stand to lose them both. It probably wouldn't be best to keep him and have him alternate between 2 split, single parent homes struggling to afford raising a newborn baby. Her sister and her husband are great parents who want another baby and could give him more than we could at this point. My fiance is around 22-23 weeks along right now. What is my question?... Will I or her be able to give him away once we see him born and hold him? I have a hard time thinking so but she is determined to give him up and only wants me to consent and wants nothing to do with me if I oppose her...except maybe have s_x because she says that that is the only reason she may have me around at this point. She doesn't even know if she wants me around if I do consent. Is it just hormones or am I a fool for hoping we can work things out?
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This is a choice you have to make and you only. Your ex can decide whatever she wants but in the end it's your choice what happens with your child. Don't let money be an issue as I've heard everybody makes it work some how. You just have to ask yourself are you ok with giving your child to a close family relative of your ex. Your ex WILL be part of that childs life and most likely the child will know that your ex is the mother. You just need to decide what you want to do. Don't let being a single parent scare you off because people do it all the time. Follow what your heart says. Best of luck.
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I appreciate the advice, missarose. I am not really letting money be the deciding issue here. Although my fiance does live like 45 minutes away from me, so we would have to find 2 different daycares because we work in 2 different towns and there are many other issues here. I really do not want to give the baby up but I also don't want my baby starting life going back and forth between 2 single parent homes with only one income at each home and us each having 3 kids to support already. I'm not trying to wimp out, I am just trying to think of what is best for the baby. He deserves a loving mother and father who are married and are great parents and are in one home. If I follow my heart, I would keep the baby, no matter what and probably be robbing my son of a much better life. I can't follow my heart because my heart can be deceived, I have to lead my heart. We are meeting with her sister and her sister's husband this weekend to discuss this issue with the baby. I have no doubt that her sister and husband will be great parents to him if it comes to that. God has given me peace in the choice to give him up, but I admit that when I think about it for very long, it makes me cry. I want to keep him, but he deserves a good stable christian home with both parents present to love him.
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