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oh and another thing..he says he wants to marry me, but wants to wait like 5 years. We already live together, he have a baby....if he loves me and wants to be with me forever..why cant we get married sooner? i dont want to waiste my time waiting on something thats not going to happen.

How old are you Carol, and are you a SAHM? Do you have any friends or activities that you can include the baby in? Sometimes the best thing you can do is let your boyfriend alone, and let him decide what he wants... forcing him to spend time with you isn't good for you, or him, or the baby. But dont wait around for him... If he is uninterested in his son and doesn't spend much of his available time with him, and doesn't spend much of his time with you either, you need to honestly a__sess your situation and decide if it's working or not. Then sit down with him and tell him the conclusions you have reached regarding his behaviour, and ask if your intuitions are correct. If he is looking for an out, he'll take it. If he wants to stay, he'll change (maybe) at least a little of his behaviour so you dont feel so alone. I wish you the best.

yes, im a sahm, im 19, and it scares the hell out of me to think of being a single mom. Thats honestly my biggest fear. I dont think i can make it alone. Im living with him and his parents...and i have no place else to go. My mom lives in canada and my father is dead, i have no place else to stay, and i dont think i can afford to get my own place i only have my GED. I feel like even if i dont want to be here, im stuck and i have no other options, i cant take my baby and live on the streets. I want him to change, well..i want him to want to change, but im scared if i give him an opertunity out..he'll take it and i'll be stuck with nothing and nobody.

Hi Carola, I have a 13 month old son and my hubbys the same. He is 25 i i actually broke down when my son was 6 months old cause i have the same problem as you. What makes me feel worse is that no matter what i do like clean the house ect i feel as though i go unnoticed. I was that bad that i had anxity attacks and had to go on depression tablets. You no guys go on about "well im at work bringing the money in isnt that good enough" but thety don realise we do 2 shifts aday (day and night). I love my lil boy so much and when i get mad and frustrated i feel bad cause it's not him im p__sed with its my hubby cause he doesnt help that much. What makes it worse by lil son never wants daddy he wants me!!!! Look i can tell you i how i helped my self with time out when u go to your mums house onday go by youself or treat yourself to a nice bubble bath with candels when your babys asleep. Pamper yourself you are worth every penny. I use to work b4 i had my son and i tell you like i tell my hubby to me when u have kids going to work is a holiday! I dont realy no what to say about this going behind your back with other girls that must hurt!... If hes going to be like that pay attention to your self and the baby and if he goes out one night plan sumone to look after your child and just chill for a bit. I dont no if i was any help but hey i no where you are c_mming from. get back

Can his parents help with the baby now and then?

can you talk to you mom about moving there with her? maybe you can get some childcare a__sistance and a job, start trying to save some money and get a place. then your bf will see he messed up. lost you and his son. i had to pack up me and my son and move a couple times but each time it was for the better. and ill do it again if i have to, to get out of a bad situation. it totally sucks to pack up and leave with a couple suit cases and leave everything else behind. trust me i know. but sometimes its for the better. i put me and my son on a bus from florida to ny to get away from my sons father. we;ve been in ny a year now, im engaged and pregnant by the love of my life. just be strong! it can be done. try and talk to your mom. tell her whats going on. hope i helped. email me if you wanna talk skylersmom05@yahoo.com

hey there. i have a 3 month old baby girl. my boyfriend can be the same at times. i know how you feel with the other girls thing. he asked me to check his myspace for a message from his cousin, and i did and there were numbers of 2 girls...1 of which was his ex a while back and of a girl that he went to the movies with and lied to me about. and he doesnt give me a lot of attention either. ive tried to talk to him but he just yells at me and says im ovvereacting and if i keep it up we wont last any longer. i only put up with it cause of our daughter. maybe its just a phase. most of the time my guy isnt that bad at all, its just every once in awhile. maybe yours will wake up and see that he needs to help out a little more. talk to him and try to connect with him. good luck!

hello Carol, i hear what your going through. im 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend is never at home. hes out drinking every single night. he has cheated on me in the past and i think that he still is. My doctor has put me on bedrest and i cant get him to help me out at all. i'll ask him to change the cats litter box and it takes him weeks to do it.. he gets mad at me when he doesnt have clean clothes. everytime i try to talk to him he yells. he treats me like garbage. makes me feel really low. i thought many times about leaving him, but i really dont wanna be alone while being pregnant. i guess that my answer isnt really an answer but more less a question, why do we put up with this? our children dont need to see there parents fighting all the time, and no, i would never tell him that he can never see his baby, why not show the kids a great time. just be the best mother you can be. i think that being a mom is the most beautiful thing in the world! i dont believe that we deserve to put pushed around buy the man thats supposed to be the love of your life!!

My bf used to be like that but when he saw that it was reallytakibng atoll on me he stepped up.. i dunt agree what so ever with the myspace thing, he shouldnt be making it anything if you are brining it up you are clearly consirned about it and he needs to realize that i dont think you should make him a romantic dinner i think he should make u one telling you how great u did and how great you are doing with the baby.. he should step up and explain u might just have ot push him a little bit:D good luck

it sounds like you should talk to him about all this, and as far as the myspace thing goes...think of it this way... at least they are saying they want to hang instead of saying they had a really good time last night or something along those lines, ya know what i mean?

Ok... Men are lazy!!! You cannot expect anything from them. My bf works weired hours also and when he is home he complains or procrastinates. It's our job really to take care of the baby and the father. Men are like kids. If you have a man, and a kid, you basically have two kids. You cant expect him to work at the same level as you. especially if your home all the time. I have a 7 month old and my life consists of cleaning an taking care of my son. It's not the best thing in the world to clean and work your a__s off but its your job!!! you chose to be a mom so you deal with it. Men will always be lazy. It's them. They cheat,they are lazy, they r silly. I know I have never met one good man ever!!!!!!

What I have found out about men in the past four years is that if you keep pushing it will drive them further away. If they are not comfertable in a situation they will not take it and basically hide out in what gets them away from the real world. I have had problems many of times since i was pregnant 3 years ago with my daughter, my bf and i seemed to drift apar. After our daughter was born he was constantly lieing to me about where he was going. I said forgive and forget after that it seemed to go good for about a week then just started going downhill. Guys will tell you what you want to hear just so you will leave them alone. My bf and I had our biggest speed bump this past winter and I wouldn't give into his bs. So i left and stayed and my dads for a while. We have worked everything out and everything is going great now. But if a man cheats on you don't give him a break over it. That only makes him think its ok to do it again due to you not doing anything the first time. You really get to know someone after having been with them for so long but even then you still learn new things about them. Always keep an open mind and make sure you and your man are both comfortable and always have open communication at all times. When you get p__sed off at him don't just tell him nothing is wrong, THEY CAN NOT READ YOUR MIND. As it is the same with them. But I figured I would let you all know how I figured it out and trust your gut it is usually right.

I think it is complete bs when men think they have a choice in sticking around and being a parent. Guess what!! You BOTH had s_x now you BOTH have a baby and it is BOTH your responsibility to raise the child! Plain and simple. And I dont care that men are ''lazy by nature'' GET OVER IT!!!! It takes two to make the child it takes two to raise them! And guess what guys, chicks are selfish too, but we put that behind us and grow up when it comes time to be parents!!!

~~~ GOT CUT OFF... who enjoys spending time with my son. if you are unhappy now, totell youthe truth, its very unlikely things will change. not all mean are lazy and not all men think that its the womans job to be the sole caregiver. if someone doesnt like the situation they are in, then change it! it wont change it self. but you better enjoy the few moments you have with your kid while they ar still babies,,,, in a blilnk of an eye you will turn around and ask if they can barrow the car for the night. i know. it seems like just yesterday i was getting fed up with the lack of sleep and the tears.... my son is turning 12 next month and i would kil to have those days back

he sounds lie he doesnt understand what you have to put up with. sit him down a make him understand. you need to try and put the romance back into your relationship...try getting a parent or nanny to look after the baby as hard as it is to take yourself aways from your newborn go out and have some time alone. but whatever you do i would make him understand exactly how you feel coz u sound fed up! good luck xxx

CarolA this guy is cheating on you. how many more signs do you need? do you need to see a video of him doing it? its so blatantly obvious, all the tell tale signs. but you are too vulnerable at the moment to see through it and get strong. why would you want to rush a marriage with this untrustworthy idiot? he says 5 years because by then he would have had all the fun with his little bits on the side. you havent got a good man there. he is shunning his responsibilities and 'working' long hours - i wonder if he is working all those hours? don't put up with it just because you have a baby with him. life moves on.