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i know this site is mainly read by mothers, which is why i am asking my question i know absolutely nothing about pregnancy and children and all that. i was with a girl for 2 weeks last year, and after a drunken night out we had unprotected s_x. This was on the 10th October last year. I stopped seeing her as i found out she was sleeping with 2 other guys! at easter this year she contacted my current girlfriend to tell her that she was pregnant and claimed that it was my baby. I asked her if we could get a DNA test to prove it as i had my doubts. At first she said "my word should be good enough it will turn out looking like u, u will see". This girl was very obsessive and is a compulsive liar, she dragged my gf and myself thru court in her final month of pregnancy claiming that we bashed her n threatend to kill the baby which we did nothing of the sort. Anyway there was an intervention order layed just for the remainder of the pregnancy as the judge said she was unstable. The baby was born on the 5ht july. which was around 20 days earlier then when she told me she was due, however the baby was a healthy 7lb 5oz n the doctors said she was on time. (when the girl told me she was pregnant she said "the docs said im about 6.5-7mths") However on the 9th july her mother called my gf and said she was in labor in case i wanted to be there for the birth of my baby. and they actually tried covering up the date she was born by calling back and saying false alarm then messaging me the following week to tell me she had her during the nite. I have been willing to do a DNA test all along as if it is my baby i want to support it, but the girl wont talk to me. then outta the blue yesterday i recieved a letter from a lawyer containing a stat dec, (which had been filled out by sumone else and left with an X for me to sign and they spelt my name wrong) the letter explained the baby was born on the 5th! a week n half BEFORE they told me she was born. N they said i had 14 days to sign the stat dec or they would take me to court. Now. not only all of these lies have me worried, but the baby does not look a single bit like me, not its eyes. mouth, nose or hair. it actually has bright red hair. my mother, my brother and myself as well as my grandparents on my mothers side are all white blonde. my father and his parents are all black. This girl is dark also. The baby actually bares a striking resemblance to a guy she was sleeping with just before me. but when he asked if it could be his baby she had a go at him saying she was sure it was mine. Can anybody tell me what the chances of this baby actually being mine is? i am going to try asking her for a DNA test tomoro... i dont like my chances tho. she is not a nice girl. Is the red hair a good indicator and the fact that the baby looks NOTHING like me. EVERYONE that has seen the pictures have said it doesnt look like me. :( please help its pulling badly on my heart strings not knowing if this baby is mine or not. and i am not looking forward to the trouble i will be going thru if it is, she has said im to have nothing to do with the baby. and they will take me to court so i cant see it. (her mum is the one behind the court buisness and she does not know about any of the other boys, she only met me, which is why i think shes so bent on it being me so shes not proved to be permiscuous)
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 | C - August 9 |
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In the state I live in you can go to the Court and file a Pet_tion for Paternity. The Court orders paternity testing and the mother does not have to agree. I would call the Court House and ask them what you need to do. She cannot refuse a paternity test. If she is so sure that the baby is yours, she should not have problem with you getting a paternity test.
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There must be laws protecting men from women like your ex-gf. Get informed, I don't live in the US so I can't help you there, but I'm sure that you can legally contest your paternity and request a dna test or is that all hollywood stuff? Also, what's a stat dec?
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This woman sounds like a total psycho. For your sake I hope the baby is not yours and you can get away without a problem. For the baby's sake I hope she is, because you sound like you would be a wonderful and caring father. As for your current gf, she sounds like a saint! I would have said some very strongly worded things to both the ex and her mother...
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I don't know about all states, but in Texas child support and paternity testing are handled by the attorney general's office. The way it works here is that you can request a paternity test. If the test proves that you ARE the father, you may have to reimburse the state for the test. No one can make you sign anything before a dna test is done. You need to have the test done to protect yourself, and because you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering if this is your child. A couple of things, though: A baby may not look like either of it's parents when it's really little, so you can't tell it's not your baby that way. Also, a baby conceived on 10/10/04 would be due around July 3, 2005. I don't know why they tried to fool you about when the baby was born. The 40 weeks of pregnancy count from the first day of the mother's last menstrual period, not from the day you had s_x. Of course, the girl could have had s_x with someone else in the few days before or after she had s_x with you, so you still need the dna test.
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Rayna, i am also not from the US. im in australia! My new gf is a saint. shes helped me so much. shes the one that got all the proof and witness statements that proved us innocent in court. :) I love her terribly. and im scared that if this baby does turn out to be mine it might really upset her (we conceived a child earlier this year and miscarried at 13 weeks, we foudn out that this baby could possibly be mine in the middle of that which she took kinda hard) im praying to god every spare second i have for things to work out. i called a lawyer and am getting a test within the next 3 weeks. and it will take 10 days to get the results. (which will actually take it past the date that the birth certificate is due in) will the mother get in trouble for not handing it in yet? (we are supposed to register children within 60 days over here)
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Hi there everyone. Just thought i would update you all on what is going on even tho not much! I called the lawyer on the 11th august. and said i WANTED the test. then i paid for it on the 18th. (i get a refund if theres a negative result) the lawyer said she will get the baby and my ex tested first cos she got the feeling she was going to back out. and that she would book my test and send me the paperwork. i have still not received any paperwork or heard from the lawyer with what is going on. i called them this morning and they still havnt booked it. so i can only think that she is refusing to do it at this stage! but i will let u all know how it turns out.
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Good luck Jeff, please keep us posted and hopefully you can put this nightmare of a woman behind you forever!
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another little update. I called the lawyers office again today and got to speak with the actual person that has been dealing with our case and she said that she is still waiting even for a RESPONSE to her phone call where she told them i had paid and they had to pay. so she still has to pay her half before they will even book the test. so it looks like i have awhile to go still. cos even wen she pays theres 2 weeks until the test is done then 10 Working day wait for results. its just going on too long. the only thing i can think of is she really doesnt want the test now. i know she can afford it, and i know shes at home everyday because she is on here sending abuse to my girlfriend and our friends! and the lawyer isnt helping me wont answer my questions. could i force her to have a test? or if she backs out of the test and i CANT make her have one can i get something signed to say that i paid and she backed out so that if she does in the future and the baby is mine n she comes after me for backpayment i can prove that it wasnt my fault? any lawyers out there?!!
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How much money are we talking about here? Maybe she doesn't want to pay since she's not the one who wants the paternity test. Don't look for a lawyer here, you should talk to the one you have already hired. Fill out the online form at http://www.chromosomal-labs.com/paternitylawguide.html or check out http://www.paternityinfo.com/
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 | :) - September 2 |
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Just tell her to put up or shut up. Quite honestly, I don't think you have a thing to worry about because if she was so sure you were the father, she would get tested. She has doubt and probably dosn't know. It;s better for her to harra__s you and make you sign something (don't sign ANYTHING from her) out of the harra__sment then go through the embarra__sment of everyone finding out your not the dad. Don't sign anything from her - if she calls, refer her to your lawyer and tell her that any and all corrospondance will be handled through them. If she refuses and emails, etc anyway, forward it all to your lawyer - if she persists, you can file a harra__sment suit against her. As far as paternity, unless you come out and say you are the dad, no court will pin it on you without a test... Hope this helps...
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 | sal - September 2 |
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It's time to get your own lawyer, buddy.
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Just another update, after all sorts of rumours saying that she had some other guy tested and he turned out positive and that she wasnt testing me anymore and i wouldnt get my money back. I got my own lawyer who has done a little investigating and now she has finally paid, after the threat of legal action, and The baby is having its sample taken on the 14th. And i am having mine on the 15th. She tried to say it was too "dangerous" for us to be there on same day. But i just agreed cos i dont want more trouble. So hopefully we will have the results by the end of the month. they say 10 working days. If it is my baby, i have only seen pictures of her at 5days old. She is now 10 weeks. And i have been warned by her and the lawyer that she will fight me for visitation rights cos she doesnt want me to be around! And she has a new man who is being "daddy" im ready to just give up anyway. I cant keep fighting this GIRL. Too much energy. And her mum is determined to make it so i cant see the baby. im at the point where i think i should just Put my name on the birth certificate, set up a fund for her, and when she is 18 she can come find me if she wants. :( thanks for ur support! I will let you know when i get the results.
i think it really is sad, that i have read alot of the womens stories on here about the dads leaving etc. yet there are also so many dads out there who want to be involved but the women are being nasty.
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well the girl i was with refused and still refuses to submit to DNA testing for child that may or not be mine or her ex hubands who was living with her a the time of conception. She will not even tell me his blood type. Both me and her have O+ blood type. She told me something like her doctor told her she could have a baby with any blood type because she was O+. She has been holding this over my head for 4 years now. She is with some guy now that wants to adpot the boy so she asked me to sign away my rights. I told her no way and asked for a another DNA test. I had paid for one a month after he was born but she refused to go. she did not list a father. So what can i do? She lives in TN. I am in VA.
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Well, the test is in about 15 Hrs. 3pm my time (australia) i think its like GMT +10 or something. Will let u know how it turns out wen i kno!
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Good luck, Jeff, I hope everything works out, and please keep us posted!
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Well how did it go? I would like to know ur outcome.
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