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Lynn,Well Spaking is a last resort and that is the only time it happens. You make it sound like I beat her which is irrelevant. She is a happy child I SPANK AT THE LAST RESORT AND NOT HARD. I do everything and anything for her she always say mommy your my best friend. I do not hurt her she does not even cry it grabs her attention just like some other parents on here have said.

I cook three meals a day, and snacks on top of it.. I spend most of the day home alone with my son..where am I supposed to make him go? Let my two year old play in another room by himself for the three hours a day I spend cooking and cleaning? Get real! I need my son to learn how to behave while I am there, sending him away will not teach him a thing. I'm not proposing you just hit your child and everything is great.. you do explain things afterwards.. like "you will get hurt when you touch the stove, much more hurt than you feel right now". If I put my son in the corner for touching the stove, what does that teach him? Mommy said no and she means no.. that's great but you don't think your child might eventually question why? If this is the same discipline you use when he takes a toy away from a sibling does he really understand that the consquences of his actions are different if the your actions are not?

Not to spanke!!!!!!!!!!!

I love this debate so much because it is very interesting to see how many ways great children can be raised. I am a infant and toddler teacher, and am mostly with 1-2 yr olds. Anybody who believes they do not have impulse control has not been around a lot of them at the same time. I have seen 13mo olds be told not to do something and wait until your back is turned to do it. I have also seen a 15mo hit another child with a toy and then throw it away so she would not be caught with the "evidence". LOL. Allright let me get to the point. Toddlers understands actions and consquences. They can be reasoned with, without spanking them. I prefer to talk and reason with them because it allows them to form their own thought pattern. Explaining over and over again why they should not do something becomes inplanted in their brains. It becomes a way of thinking for them, so that when they are away from the parents they are able to replay the explanations and make a decision. Usually the decision is in the parents favor. I believe that the tone of voice is the key. Parents must save that really angry voice and angry face for when it really matters. If you are always screaming at your child for small things, then when they running into the street or putting thier fingers in the fan, they are going to tune you out. I am not against spanking at all. I just think that other methods could be used. I know that their are situations that might require a spanking but I think that comes only because you have "used up" your angry voice and spanking might be the only way you can reach your child. At the end of the day, I do not believe that spanking (not abuse) will make or break the kind of adult that your child will be. It is the consistency in discipline that will change your childs life.

Side bar....If you have ever seen any child that has come too close to the stove or heater but did not get burnt, it is the funniest thing. They will take the absolute longest way possible to get pa__s that stove. I think the best advice for getting a child not to touch the stove is to turn on the oven and let them feel the oven door. Most children only understand hot and cold. If something is extremely warm, but not burning, they will automaticly say Hot! After that they will now want to have anything to do with that stove. You could not even get them to touch it when it is cold.

TC - I think impulse control is lacking in infants and one year olds more than two year olds. It's a normal part of infant development that you can read about in a book. Obviously a two year old will be more excelled than a one year old at controlling these. The level of development btw 1 & 2 yrs is very different. I should have been more specific. There will always be exceptions to the rule....but the general consensus is that spanking your baby to teach him/her to stay away from a danger is not worth your time and often leads to frustrated children and parents. I agree that reasoning with children facilitates their intellectual independence. --- Okay, on a funny note, did anyone see SuperNanny last night? I saw one kid that I think needs the spanking of her lifetime (j/k)!!! Dh always said I turned out the way I did bc I didn't get spanked. :) nelly, I don't think that lynn made it sound like you beat your kids in any way. Some of the reasoning behind spanking makes no sense, that's all. Beating and spanking are not the same thing, no doubt. The worst thing is when parents deliberately embarra__s and threaten their children in public, including spanking in public. That kind of punishment should be private and be btw two people, the child and the parent.

When I said "you can read about.." I meant anyone, not you. I noticed that sounded bad.

What about when a child embarra__s you in public? How are you going to control them when that times come. One lady was standing at the register and her son kept hitting her and she did nothing. When she left everyone said if my child or if I hit my mom like that I would have gotten the biggest wack. I agree. Spanking is not bad, it is a good thing.

But to everyone how do you discipline your child and does it work. I do not see the taking a toy away from them working or friends not coming over.

Hey Narcissus, I did see SuperNanny and I wanted to beat the parents as well! LOL!! Well, I think that being embarra__sed in public is something us parents or guardians will experience no matter how excellence our discipline is. However, in a situation like that when the child is acting out of control in public, the parent shoul take at least 2 min to talk to that child. I am sure that that mother gets hit by her child all of the time.

TC - I have never wanted to hit a child like I wanted to wack that girl last night. What a little vixen she was. They had their parents wrapped around their fingers. The girls were quite smart, actually. We laughed when the little sister told her parents that she hated her friends so them not coming over didn't matter.

to those that think they will never spank their children... wait until they are old enough to understand right from wrong, and they turn into little devils! taking priveledges away will only work for so long. kids can be manipulative and can weasle in and out of everything. take away toys, movies, outings etc., and when you are still left with an unwilling, uncooperative child, then come back, and tell me that you wont spank your child. Its easy to say when you've got a baby. I also thought the same thing! figured I had all the answers, and I would never spank my precious little ones. well, was I in for a surprise when they got older! I changed my att_tude and my beliefs in a hurry! I'm not saying to beat your kids, but when they are throwing the biggest scene in the middle of Walmart, and run away from you and hide, or start hitting , biting, or screaming, the last thing you will think of is taking them to the bathroom for discipline. You will want to deal with the situation, NOW! A child wants to have the attention, they want you to forget what you are doing (shopping for example), so the last thing I would do is remove them from the situation. If they want to act like devils in a shopping mall, infront of other people, then they will deal with the consequences in front of people!

To Opinion: sounds like you need to watch Supernanny... I have a child that knows right from wrong and i don't have to beat or spank my child to get him to listen to me.. Timeouts work well and taking things away like video games ect. Work wonders when you want to get your point across.No child is an angel all the time, they do test there boundries and will continue to do so for a long time. But, Spanking them teaches them it's ok to hit when you are angry. Beause that is really why you hit your child because you the parent are angry.Right? Teach them there are always repercusions to there bad behavior. When your child is bad in school do you want there teachers to give them a whack? No i don't think you do. Acually it is outlawed where i live to use corpral punishment in schools. I feel it should be the same at home. Just my thoughts.

Kids can be manipulative... Well, it's a d__n good thing I am smarter than my boy!! I will always be three steps ahead in that dept. I can't believe I am about to say this but here goes!!!! Deep breath... I will NEVER have a child who behaves so poorly that he needs a whooping. If my child does not have any cognitive or developmental deficits, I am 100% sure that my child will not act so poorly as to warrant being spanked. Thank you for the heads up but I think we have that covered. If your children got to that point, it was NOT bc they were not spanked. I once saw a mother hitting her kid back when he was acting out and hitting her. She looked absolutely ridiculous and it was a shame that that adult lacked control over herself. If your kids act out in public, you would be better off leaving the store and removing priveledges. My opinion is that some parents ignore this option bc it is too much effort for them while a quick spanking is an immediate b__w to their kids egos and the result is immediate compliance.

It's just so ridiculous....If your kid smacks his little brother bc the little brother is acting out, you would be so p__sed. What is the difference if you hit your kid and they hit others? How can you ever teach them that is wrong? I really am curious as to how one can explain that question. I am not trying to pick fights here and I would never say you beat your child if you smack his bottom but the rationale has me puzzled.

I respectfully disagree on several of your points:) I am not naive, but my perception of what's naughty and spankworthy probably does not match yours. I do not think that anything is spankworthy....Parents are so often on a short fuse w/ their kids, its really the fault of the parents. Children are not mini adults and they will test behavior until they find out what is appropriate. That can be accomplished without punishing them via a method that you would forbid them to use on other people. Not spanking is a belief system and one I intend to practice in my life. There are families that never hit their children and I know that is hard for people who spank to admit. It will not mean my child has the upper hand. If a parent can't discipline with success prior to using corporal punishment, there absolutely is something they have missed or are not looking into further. I am not on a soapbox over this issue and realize that every parent has a right to parent in a way that they see fit, unless the worst is happening that would sadden us all... I am not saying Aja will never be naughty, but knowing myself and my husband and the way we interact, plus the useless degrees in psych that we both picked up a while ago, we have a pretty positive outlook on raising our son. If I raise a brat who people want to spank, I only have myself to blame.