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Oh Nancy, I am so sorry to hear about everything. My heart just fell for you - but you know what? It does get better, and please make it your resolution to help your brothers daughter in her time of need, she's going to have a rough go of it with a bum for a father and being so young. Yes, you have every right to be mad, for right now, everything you are feeling is so normal - but don't let it get to you - it's ok to be p__sed at her - it's ok to be angry - but you have to let it stay at that... you can't let it consume your emotions. There are 4 people in my office that are pregnant right now - do I get upset? Yep, do I cry everytime someone has a baby and brings them in? Yep. But I don't let it consume me. My gosh Nancy - I am so very sorry. My heart hurts for you right now. And I've felt everything you are right now. You've got a new year coming up! Make some deals with yourself: If you conceive again - Hooray! If you don't - take a trip - give yourself a good reason to enjoy next year, whatever God brings you. My heart feels for you right now.

I just wanted to give an update for those of you who might be in similar situations. At 8 weeks and 5 days they could no longer find the fetal pole and still no heartbeat. My HCG levels were still rising, but not very much. They told me that it was not a viable pregnancy. I decided to wait and see if I miscarried on my own.

Ali - I was in the exact same boat as you... with no heartbeat but HcG levels rising at almost 9 weeks. I decided to have the D & C though. Please keep us posted on your status & let us know how things go. You are in our thoughts...

Cristina, thanks for your concern. Well I didn't miscarry on my own after about a week, so I went ahead and had a D&C. I have had very little pain and almost no bleeding. My doctor said to wait 3 cycles before trying to conceive again. Is that normal? Also how long does it take to get your period again?

Hi Ali - I am so sorry to hear of your loss, but it is good to hear that you are not in too much pain - I think Cristina is on vacation but will be back soon. I too had a d&c - everyone heals a bit different. My doctor told me to wait until I had my a/f and then I could begin trying to conceive. Every doctor is a little different I think, some want to wait a little longer so the patient can grieve but most all of them want to at least wait until we have a af following the d&c. That helps them date the next pregnancy. I found this website helpful with information: www.pregnancyloss.info it does not have a .com after it, then go to the left side and click on "recovery". Maybe that will be of some help, it is pretty detailed about the entire process of recovering from a d&c and what the body goes through. I trust my doctor, so if you too trust yours then he/she is probably giving you good advise on how long to wait. I had my d&c on Nov. 28th - so that was 5 weeks ago. Have not had my regualar af, but dr says it should come within 4-6 weeks. Take good care of yourself, it can be an emotional rollercoaster - I thought I was fine and then just broke down - some of which is the fact that my hormone levels are still totally out there and some of it is the pain of lossing my baby. Would love to hear how you are doing, take care.

Nancy, Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry to hear about your loss too. It definitely can be an emotional roller coaster. It's only been 5 days since my D&C and I've exprerienced all sorts of emotions. Thanks so much for the website, it was really helpful. I hope you continue to heal quickly and a/f comes soon too. Take Care.

Hi Ali and Nancy! Good to hear from the both of you... I am still on vacation actually but like to check back to this site every now and again to make sure all is OK. Ali-- I completely understand where you are coming from with having the D & C. I had mine done the first time about a week after they could not find the heart beat. I didn't want to miscarry naturally because my dr. said that it could take several weeks. I personally did not want to deal with carrying my baby that long. The D & C was painless and quick. It was the best thing I did to expedite the recuperation both physically and emotionally. I ovulated on day 12-13 after that D & C and conceived right away (an accident). So I didn't get AF. However the norm for AF's arrirval after a D & C is 4-6 weeks. Also, many doctors recommend waiting 2-3 cycles before TTC again. My dr. told me 2 cycles so for your dr. to tell you 3 is definitely not unusual. As you probably know, the reason for waiting is mostly to allow your lining of your uterus to thicken up again. They also want you to recuperate from the emotional strain of loosing your baby. Personally, I think one cycle is sufficient but I am going to still follow my dr.'s orders and wait 2. I feel that it is a small price to pay (waiting it out) for a healthy pregnancy to come. Trust your instincs... if you are on your 2nd cycle and you feel ready, then by all means I would go for it. If you are unsure and still feel unsettled though, then wait it out another month. You will know. :-) Nancy -- have you decided to try again or are you still waiting it out like the rest of us? I will make it a point to check back more frequently. You are both in my prayers.

Hi ladies-I just had a d&c this past friday. I was 11wks. The baby only measured 9wks. though. The d&c was ok. It was only 3days ago but I haven't bled since the hospital and haven't had much pain at all. I'm pretty depressed though. Looking forward to ttc again. The dr. said to wait 3months. And to wait 6wks for intercourse. I really don't want to wait that long though. I have an appt for the 14th to check everything out though so maybe if everything is ok we can start earlier.

AshleyB, I totally understand how you feel. I had my d&c about 6 days ago. I didn't bleed until yesterday (day 5). My dr. said to wait 2 weeks for intercourse and 3 cycles ttc again. Hang in there and know my prayers are with you. This site has been really helpful too, just knowing others are in the same situation you are in can give you some comfort. Take Care. Cristina, thanks for your prayers and info., I hope you're having fun on your vacation.

HI everyone. I posted awhile back. I had a miscarriage in October at 9 weeks. Did not have a D&C...I was given the drug Cytotec to miscarry at home. It was awful!! But my Dr told me that we only had to wait 1 cycle and then we could try again. He said your uterus just needs one month to build up and shed off. He said it won't be any stronger the longer you wait. So we are trying again this month....so far no luck. I think they tell you to wait 3 months for the grieving but if you aksed me I would want to get pregnant again as soon as possible and forget about the miscarriage, Wishing ******Baby Dust to all*****

Hi Cristina - what a nice surprise to hear from you while you are on vacation!! I am envious of you! - How are you feeling? I am hanging in there - it is now 6 weeks post d&c and no sign of af. Would you please remind me of how long it took you to get your af? We would like to try again, and are just waiting for things to get back to some kind of normal - Hope you are having a wonderful time! Take care ;o]

I went in for an u/s at what should have been 10 weeks, and there was no heartbeat. My doctor suggested that I wait 2 weeks and come back for another u/s and then a d&c/ He said it's better to let the m/c happen naturally. It's been a week and the wait is so painful. I don't know whether to call my doctor back and schedule a d&c rather than wait another week. I'm completely torn. I want to get this over with so I can heal a bit and try to get pregnant again. I'm 37, this was my first pregnancy and time isn't on my side.

Here's an update with HOPE for all of you who want to try again as soon as you've healed. I miscarried in November 2005 after having a missed miscarriage. I had an 8 week ultrasound that showed an empty gestational sac. The yolk sac and fetal pole was missing. I had to take misoprostol to miscarry and that took 3 weeks. I bleed for 21 days. As soon as I pa__sed the placenta, about 2 weeks later I ovulated. According to my OBGYN I was told I could start trying right away, it's good to wait 1 cycle for dating purposes but it's not that important, he said that each pregnancy is independent of each other and has an 80% success rate. I am pregnant again. I'm now at 7 weeks, I just had an ultrasound today and saw a little heartbeat (it was a little flutter on the screen). I was so relieved. I had tears in my eyes and was shaking in the waiting room before I saw the doctor. So far I've been spotting light brown for 6 days but the Doctor said that all looked normal and to ignore the spotting, that it's very normal. My girlfriend and my aunt spotted during their 1st trimester as well and they had healthy babies. I go back for another ultrasound in 3 weeks. Some doctors say to wait a full cycle or 3 to ttc, I didn't wait, I didn't want to wait and told my doctor I wouldn't and he said that's fine. Knock on wood, I'll keep you posted.

Elaine, thanks for your story it is always a blessing to hear about a successful pregnancy, please keep us posted and we'll be praying that everything goes ok. Take care.

Ayo - Maybe he's not sure of your timing and just wants to be sure? I've seen posts where all looked dark and finished and then at the last minute - a heartbeat. Please don't be so worried about your age and the time frame. I had some losses and then got pregnant at 39 - if the timing would not have been the way it was I would not have had this particular baby - my beautiful son. So although I was fearful of the age thing (no I was terrified!) and so heartbroken about my losses - I would do it all again to hold this little egg/sperm mixture because he is truly everything I have ever dreamed of. I really hope you take good care of yourself and don't forget, at this moment you are pregnant - and you ARE able to get pregnant. Please keep us posted, I will keep you in my prayers

Hi Nancy! I can see that you must be anxious to have AF arrive after 6 weeks post D & C. Do you know if you ovulated at all this past month? The average time it takes for AF to arrive after a D & C is 4-6 weeks but I have heard of it taking longer. With my last D & C, it took me 29 days (an average cycle length) for AF to arrive. However I think I fell back into the swing of things quickly because the baby died so early. If I were you, I would speak to your dr. once you get into your 7th week. A few reasons I can think of off the top of my head on why it is taking you so long is A) Your body needs longer to recuperate and kick back into gear B) Although VERY doubtful, some tissue could be left over from the last pregnancy thus not allowing you to menstruate or C) you could be pregnant again (as you know that is what happended to me after the first D & C). Could C be a possibility at all? Please keep me posted on your progress....