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undecided - even with planned pregnancies there is often some sadness when one realizes exactly what one will be giving up to be a parent, and some adjustment into a new role. And not to be a pessimist, but is there ever truly a "perfect" time? (I know I used that excuse for quitting smoking -- and it was an excuse I could use for almost a decade). I am pro choice and not trying to sway you one way or another, but I wanted to point out that some of the things you're feeling are normal for all pregnancies, not just unplanned ones. I believe most clinics do offer counselling and can help you sort out some of these things you're feeling.

To Undecided....I really know what you are going through. I had an abortion back in October of 2007. I finally moved out and went away for school and as soon as I got up to school and started this new exciting experience I had been looking so forward to, it turns out I was really sick (morning sickness) and I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend (who lived in my home town) lived 2 and 1/2 hours away from me and we had only been together 2 months, and my parents took out all kinds of loans for me to be able to go to school away, and I told myself I was going to get an abortion and I thought it was no big deal, being a selfish person. But immediately after I did it I was soooooooo depressed. I ended up doing awful in school and coming back home after two quarters. And now I wish that I would have just kept the baby and came home anyways. Living with that regret kills me EVERYDAY. It's always in the back of my mind no matter what I'm doing. I've always been really spoiled and gotten pretty much everything I wanted so it didn't take much for me so say "I'm getting an abortion" And to this day, I think abortions are awful, but unfortunately most people (like myself) have to find things out the hard way. Just please think about your decision....I hope you think about it more than I did. I will never tell someone what to do, or judge someone for having an abortion. I just do not look at the subject the same and I will never have another. I pray someday I will be able to have beautiful, healthy children someday in the near future.

I have two kids, one 18 month and the other 5 years. A few days ago I was pregnant and for many reasons including that I was using Paroxetine and Clonazepam ( this can be dangerous for the baby if is consume Durant the first three month of pregnancy ) I had a abortion. Now I feel bad about it, I feel like a murder, I miss my baby and after that horrible decision, I can't stop crying... Now I think that the only way I can feel better is gearing pregnant ageing and having other baby. But I am confuse about my relation ship with my husband… Is chose that my pain is to strong that I don’t think I can live with it. Please if some one can help me I will appreciate...

hey i just had some questions and need some answers i had an abortion 2 years ago and my wedding is in summer, so im afraid not to get pregnant anymore and if in future the doctor would know that i have done an abortion please help

wen i donot no i have being trying for 5 mouths and i an still not preg

I am pregnant after having an early surgical abortion 3 months ago (which I regretted) Having an abortion does not lower your chances of conceiving again (unless you developed an infection which was left untreated). It can take the average couple quite a few months to conceive anyway, whether or not she's had an abortion in the past. The fact that you have been pregnant before means you have a good chance of conceiving again anyway. I'd recommend using an Ovulation Predictor Kit and having s_x in the fertile days each month. This is what I did and I was pregnant after two months. Also, the kit will show you when you are ovulating normally again (it took about a month for me to ovulate normally again). The kits are generally 99% accurate. Good Luck everyone!

i found out i was pregnant last december. my spouse and i lived with my parents. had no jobs. nothing. so i had an abortion. i was so ashamed i didn't even tell my doctor. i've known him since i was a kid. i didn't go for my two week check up. then suddenly i have a really good job. a house. everything. my spouse and i have been trying since july to have a baby. we already have a 3 year old. did i wreck any chance i had? am i being punished? i wish i had a time machine. every month i'm left crying and heartbroken. i keep seeing babies and pregnant women everywhere i go.

I want to thank all the people who have replied and answered the question my boyfriend had about fertility and abortion.

I had an arbotion about 7years ago, now Im married and tring to get pregnant...nothing is happening, Im scared to tell my husband that I had an arbotion.I did the vacc_m abortion one, so that why i think maybe something went wrong.

Check with your doctor. Getting a Women's Wellness exam might ease you.

i just had an abortion last week i regret the whole thing and am kinda depressed. i wanted to keep the baby but my boyfriend 100% against it. i almost left him and kept it but i didnt and now wish i should have. im so angry with myself its crazy. if ever i get pregnant again im so keeping it no matter what.

I also had the same worries. I had an abortion in jan 2004. I think aboout it all the time that my baby would have been 6 this september. I opted for the procedure because my boyfriend and i had just finished university and were heading off to get masters degrees. He doesnt like to talk or think about it but i just never stopped.to make matters worse, i did it on our anniversary so with that date comes the memory of what i did. Now life is better. We are married and we are 4weeks pregnant with our first baby and we now have a new anniversary date so i focus on that. Give it time and keep praying to God for forgiveness and you will do just fine

Hey ladies I kno this is pretty late but for the next person who reads this I'd like for them to know my personal story. I had an abortion a year ago and I did regret having it but I fell pregnant 5 months later and it ended in miscarriage. I hear it is quite common to have a miscarriage after an abortion so jus really think it thro ladies I hope this helps someone TOODLEs!!!

I want to comment on this too, since I read all these messages after I had an abortion and was scared because I realized how much I wanted to be a mom, that I would do anything for it. (I was 37 so I was also scared about my biological clock.) I can write a lot about this, but the short answer is - your abortions will not affect your ability to conceve again, as long as you had a legal one (no coat hangers and filthy back-alley docs). If you had a serious infection afterward, that may affect your fertility, but maybe not - you'd have to look at what happened. Sometimes it takes a while for your period to return to normal after an AB. If your period returns to normal, you are probably fine. You can also use ovulation sticks to make sure you are ovulating regularly. I had 2 abortions and then got pregnant and wanted to keep it, but had a miscarriage. However, the miscarriage turned out to be Downs syndrome, which meant it had to do with my old eggs and nothing to do with the abortion. It happens to many of us women in our 30s regardless of past history. Of course, I blamed myself, thought I was being punished, bla bla. But really it was just what it was. Now I'm 39 and about to deliver my first baby, conceived 4 months after my miscarriage. I went through some really tough times when I thought I would never be a mom, and was sure I'd be punished for my abortions, or that they were causing medical problems. I saw a reproductive endocrinologist - they are more involved than regular OB/GYNs and can look at you to make sure your abortion didnt' cause any problems (a saline sonogram can check for scarring for example). Everything looked fine. I got the Clearblue Easy Fertility monitor after my miscarriage and watched my cycles to see when they were going back to normal. And my husband and I timed it right and I got pregnant, and it was a healthy egg this time. I don't recommend getting abortions, or waiting until your late 30s to try to conceive. But the abortions, done properly, won't affect your future fertility. Getting pregnant can be hard, whether you had abortions or not. But there is always a way when there is a will!!! Anyway, I came here first during a dark period when I really needed some home. Now I hope I can give some hope to others who come here with this question. If you have a lot of abortions, it can weaken your cervix, so thru this pregnancy, I've been getting frequent ultrasounds to make sure mine is holding. And it has held just fine. Other than that, no problems (except the past emotional mixed feelings about the abortion.) TO sum up: Correctly done abortions should not affect future fertility. If you are concerned, see a reproductive endocrinologist at a major university hospital or fertility clinic and they can check hormone levels, uterine ultrasounds, etc. Good luck and remember that you are LOVED.

Oops, I meant HOPE, not HOME. I really want to stress that as much as the abortion may have hurt, where there is a will to be a mom, there is a way. There are support groups at babycenter.com for specific issues with trying to concieve again, and it always helps to get support and as much info as possible. Good luck from someone who understands and cares!

I think it is a very sweeping statement to say you should only have a termination if you are raped! I am disgusted at reading this quite frankly. You don't know peoples circ_mstances and certainly shouldn't judge. I was basically forced into having a termination 32 days ago because my baby was dying of a cystic hygroma at 13 weeks and 3 days and my life was at risk also so we had to make the most heartbreaking decisions as parents. I had to put my husband and 3 year old first. It is not something I would wish people to EVER go through. Just think before you speak because it upsets me to think that people like you think poor unfortunate souls like my husband and I are basically murderers! Just remember - WE DIDN'T WANT TO ABORT! Our baby Angel was very much planned and wanted and life is so cruel.