My Girlfriend Is Pregnant And I Need Some Advice

43 Replies
KingDavid72 - May 21

Hello again, Rasta. Well, it seems that the both of us are going to have a time of just waiting to see what happens. My fiance or girlfriend or whatever she is are not pursueing a relationship at this time. She said we should probably not see each other unless it has to do with making plans about the baby. I suppose this will tell whether or not our love is strong enough to withstand anything or whether there is anything worth hanging onto. We are supposed to go talk to her sister and her husband about them taking our baby to raise on May 31st. This is not what I want but I too do not want my baby being raised in a broken home. I am basically just letting her contact me if she needs to. I suggest you stick to just not contacting her in any way. The more you call or text her, the further away she will get, trust me on that. That is what happened when my ex wife left me. If I had used some wisdom and just stayed calm as best I could, I might have been able to save our marriage. And I know you can better yourself ,man. You say you don't think you can do it but all you really need to do is be determined to live life like a real man. A real man is not dependant on alcohol or drugs to get by. I'm not preaching at you but it would be to your advantage to pray to God to help you. If you come to Him and really want Him to help you, He will never leave you, I promise you that. Then, one day, you will meet someone who is going through what you are going through and you will know exactly what to tell them because you have been there and you made it through and though it hurt, it only made you stronger. If you want to know how God can help you through this, just pray and ask Him or you can ask me any questions you want to. I'd be glad to halp in any way I can. Be strengthened, my friend.


mrfaosfx - May 21

My girl or should I saw "was" my girl because we are just friends now, is 13 weeks last time I checked. She is starting the 2nd trimester and yes I do still talk to her from time to time. I decided to do an experiment and just stop seeing her with no explanation. After 2 weeks she started to get worried sending me text messages to know if I was ok, she called and called but, I didn't pick up. I finally decided to respond back by saying I was ok and thanks for asking and that I had moved on. She started asking me all these funny questions...who are you with now? As if it concerns her? lol. And then, so its really over huh? And also, nobody is going to live up to me, you know i'm the women of your life. Wow, I wasn't expecting that and when I went to visit and talked to her, she said she couldn't explain. She still loves you man, even if she says she doesn't. Its the hormones, they have no control over them and pregnant women become a completely different person. I know when my girl got pregant, the first week she was fine, but as the weeks went by, by the third week I began to notice her becoming more distant from me. By the second month, she was no longer sleeping with me anymore and soon she came up with the idea of moving out. Still wanted us to be together but then suddenly decided we should just stay as friends. Its very complicated for a man who is about to be a father for the first time and all I can do is pray and hope that in the end, she realizes what she has done. I miss her so much. When I visit her sometimes, it hurts just to look at her and know that she is no longer mine. The funny thing is, sometimes she texts me and tells me that she is h__y and if I would like to come over. I come over, we have an intimate moment and then she kicks me out! Sometimes she stops in the middle and says, stop this doesn't feel right cause we aren't together, so I stop and just leave. This woman needs to make up her mind already! She also says that she gives up on men and that she doesn't plan on being with nobody after the baby is born. I tell her, "so your not giving us a chance?" she says she doesn't know...this drives me nuts, I think this girl is crazy. These hormones are too much to deal with! Patience, patience.


KingDavid72 - May 21

I would have to say that mrfaosfx is right about just ignoring her for a while and I bet she will contact you again and wonder what's up. I know I have been doing that recently. I just wait for her to contact me. I do get tempted to call or text or email but with my gf, it seems lately that she only wants me around for what she can get out of me, which is either favors or s_x. She knows I love her and would do anything for her but it was the s_x before marriage that got us into all this trouble so she can tell me she is h__y all she wants, she is just going to have to settle for B.O.B. lol. I am ashamed that I gave in to s_x with her because I went about 6 years without it after my ex wife left me. It had been so long that it was just a matter of time before I gave in. OK, as I was typing this, my gf just called me. So see, because I haven't been contacting her, she called me. Be encouraged ,man. I do believe that hormones play a major role in how she is treating you. My gf told me we shouldn't see each other unless it has to do with this baby and that was a few days ago, when she just called me a minute ago, she never mentioned the baby, she asked me about my evening and what she was doing right now. Now maybe we aren't seeing each other if it's just a call, but the point is, she called me and that was because I have not contacted her at all. She doesn't tell me she loves me anymore but I know she does. I bet your gf loves you too, man. Just be patient and remember to pray, that's very important. Utilize self control, it's hard to do but the more you do it, the easier it will be the next time and the next time, etc. I'm praying for you, man. God bless you.


rasta - May 26

So my birthday came and went and no word from her at all. She has taken to ignoring my text and calls now. Does she really just hate me? did i push her away by trying to help her thru this hard time? Did i just bug her too much because i was so confused that she didnt want to see me? It seems like now she wouldnt care if i lived or died and i still havent hear her voice in 3 weeks now. Im so lost and depressed, all i can do is hope she will call me and hope she will become reqady to get back together with me. She has told me she just isnt ready and needs time but now more then a month later do you think that still stands?


KingDavid72 - May 26

Well, Let me start by saying that I am sorry you are going through this. Happy Birthday, for what it's worth. I know you want to hear it from her more than anyone else but I think it's time to just prepare for the worst. I'm not saying that she is never going to come to her senses, but just in case, you need to be prepared...whatever that means. I would definitely pray for her return and your baby's safety but come to terms that she may not come back to you. I know that sounds harsh but I believe in speaking the truth in love and not just saying what I think the other wants to hear to make them feel better. I have friends that do that for me. I would strongly advise not texting or calling or emailing her from now on unless maybe she contacts you. The way I see it, you text her and hope she replies and get hurt when she doesn't. You are going to be hurting anyway so you might as well not make it worse. Your wounds will take time to heal and when you text her and she doesn't reply, it only reopens the wounds and your hurt is drawn out even more. I feel for you, man because I know what you're going through. I have completely stopped communicating with my gf unless she calls me. I went all weekend with no calls but she called me a couple hours ago just to see how I have been doing and to have casual conversation. I talk to her then but I don't call, text or email her anymore whereas I used to do all 3 everyday. It is very hard to do because I ache inside for her and I miss her terribly, but she does call now and then. I still don't know if we will be together when the baby is born or if I should even hope for that so this is a very confusing time for me but God's grace is carrying me through this and He will carry you through too if you let Him. I do believe that you will push her away if you keep contacting her so just don't do it anymore. She has hurt you enough and you need to do the right thing before she hurts you so much that you begin to think stupid things like your life isn't worth living without her. You are in a place where you can't see past the pain and think that if she doesn't come back, I will never find anyone else but you found her so just live your life and remember to strive to better yourself for the benefit of yourself and your baby. I am praying for you. God bless you.


mrfaosfx - May 26

rasta you are killing yourself over this. Read the following sentence. "When a person has something, they no longer want it because they already have it. However, when that person finds out that they are about to loose what they no longer wanted, they suddenly want it back." This is very true, you need to move on and give the girl some space. No contact with her what so ever, no matter how long it takes, this will show her that you are strong and can deal with what is going on, she will admire you for that. I have not contacted my ex for a whole day today. She has called me twice and texted me; "So...what you doing?" and "Y don't u pick up?" I am going to take it easy and see just how worried she will get. Just always remember that she is pregnant and that during this time, you need to focus on becoming a father and being there for her.


Mom_To_Be2009 - June 2

Hi Rasta, KingDavid72 and MrFaosfx, Just checking to see if you guys are still checking on this thread before I post my situation which is similar to your situation. Are you guys still there...? so :)


rasta - June 2

yes i am hear and she is still just ignoring me in every way


mrfaosfx - June 2

I am still here and I'm doing great! I guess I can say I have my girl back. She wants to sleep over at my apartment now, so that we can be together and maybe have a little fun here and there. I said that she broke up with me but she didn't actually brake up with me...all she said was she needed some time alone to figure things out. I pressured her during those times but she instead push me away, it was until I told her, I no longer wanted to be with anyone that she opened up to me. So now we are together but not exactly together. We love each other, she says I love you looking into my eyes and I'm very sure she means it and I love her too. But, its kind of strange being together this way...but I'm going to hold on and hope for the best. I know that I may be setting up myself up to get hurt here. She said, she would never hurt me, ever again because she doesn't want to loose me. Hey I'm happy! Having her love is what matters to me because now with this baby on the new, I can breathe easier and know that our future looks bright to be together as a family :) I have learned a lot about relationships in the past weeks and I will use those skills and employ them in my life so that me and my girl will have not only love but a healthy relationship. Communication is the key! Be patient need to show her that you can live life with out her but don't make it to obvious. Just stop contacting her, let her do the contacting from now and everything but don't get emotional with her...never contact her, let her contact you...she will do the same thing, not contact you after a while but when she sees you don't make contact back, she will start to get worried. Relationships are hard work and I would rather not initiate another relationship because you have to start all over again. Why go find love again when there is a possibility it still exists in your previous partner? We don't really want our partner back, what we want is the feelings, that feeling that you feel of being loved and returning that love...when you manage to achieve this with one person....its very hard to let go and try again because it takes a lot of hard work.


rasta - June 2

thanks for the advice, i havent contacted her now going on 2 weeks, even if i were to try she wouldnt respond or call me back. It is going on 2 months now that we havent seen eachother and i have not heard her voice in 2 months. Im glad things are working out for you now tho man


Mom_To_Be2009 - June 2

Hi Rasta and MrFaosfx, Glad you guys are still out there!!! :) I read all your postings and found it interesting. Sorry you guys have to go through this. Congrats MrFaosfx !!! Hang in there…if you have months to go. And remember guys don’t give up so soon after your girlfriend deliveries the baby because some women go through postpartum. So get informed on that now so you know what to look for. My situation is similar with the exception of me being the pregnant woman in the situation with a man who tends to be distance now and then. I'm 31 and pregnant for the first time and a bit scared. When my child's to be father and I met we slept together within the first week and I got pregnant. So we have known one another for almost 9 months now and I’ve been pregnant for most of it…wow… Of course, when we found out I was in denial and thought that I was just stressed etc because I have never been pregnant before. Well, when it was confirmed I was pregnant he stated his strong preference (me to get an abortion because we were not ready…me just getting out of a 4 yr relationship and him just divorced and going through child (1 child) custody) and also said that if I got pregnant two years or so later then it would be better. Although he felt this way he made it clear that if I kept our baby (which I sure he knew I would because he knows I don’t believe in abortions) that he will fully participate and be the best father he could be. I did give him the option to be apart or not without him having to worry about me taking action in the courts for child support etc. He gets upset each time I bring it up, but I just want to make sure he is sure and don’t want to ever force a man to do what he truly doesn’t want. My male friends are telling me of course he gets upset when I say that because it’s like saying I don’t need him. I’m independent and educated and was ready to do what I had to do to survive as always…with or without him. He has never really denied that the baby is his, but questioned if it could be my ex’s. Well, we are here now…about a month and a half until I deliver. He has been there for me thus far. Not necessarily as I would always like, but he says he is doing his best under the circ_mstances. He says he doesn’t want to be with anyone. He hates women in a sense of dealing with them in a relationship. He ex wife has made him a bitter man. Although he is bitter at times he spends time with me. Sometimes I spend a night with him. At the beginning we were having s_x, but the past maybe 3-4 months we have not. When we are together we laugh, watch movies and he holds me at night and is always touching me in someway. He recently told me why he acts distance from me at times. He said that he can’t believe this happened and just have a hard time dealing with it along with trying to keep things cordial with his ex so that he can continue to see his child with her as much as possible (which I’m glad that he is a great dad). He told me that although he knows that it’s not my fault there are times that he resents me and the situation and knows it’s wrong so he has been praying on it. Tough part is that we both did not want a child out of wedlock, but here we are. I don’t know how to deal with him. I tend to show my independence outwardly and cry when he is not around. I don’t want to scare him away by thinking I’m needy. He is more moody than I am and I’m the on that is pregnant. When all said and done though he has lived up to his word thus far financially (we have what the baby needs…crib etc.) and when he feels like it we hang out. What do you see from a man’s perspective or suggest I do. Do you think he is scared or what? I have so much I want to say and ask, so if any of you ever want to chat my yahoo id is the same as my profile here. Just let me know it’s you from this site. Hope to hear from you guys and hope things are working in your favor. Like it is said many times it may be the hormones. Every woman is different. You guys are great. Just hang in there, protect yourself, be strong for her while she is weak/can’t think straight and continue to pray.


KingDavid72 - June 2

Hey rasta. Glad you have decided to stop contacting her. You are doing the right thing. Keep it up and don't give in to the temptation to call or text her. It is this time of silence that will tell you whether your relationship will survive. It may take a while but just tough it out. I guarantee you it will make you stronger eventually. Remember to pray, man. Hello mom to be. Thanks for sharing your situation with us and I commend you for standing against abortion(God bless you for that). I wish I knew what to tell you about him resenting you. I mean he did get you pregnant but it takes 2. I wish my gf would not have left me. Since my last post, she has told me that we won't be together after the baby is born and we are not together now. I feel as if I have been forced to give the baby up for adoption because that is what she wants. And I have lost her and we were engaged up until about 2 months ago. So I have lost the woman I love and our baby. Now she doesn't even want me there for the delivery. I have been an emtional mess but God's grace has been carrying me. Today was a great day. I'm sure you have read my past posts and realize we both have 3 kids each which is why she wanted to get rid of the baby. The only reason I considered this option was because she won't marry me now. I won't subject my baby to going back and forth between 2 single parent homes from birth while we struggle to afford to raise him. Mine and her kids already do that with each of our ex's. I'm sorry you are going through this. You said you cry when he is not around, is that because you are hurting because of his actions or because you love him or what? My gf(though she isn't my gf right now) tells me that she doesn't care about my hurting because her pregnancy is all she can think about, she can't and doesn't want to care how much this all hurts me. I can only blame hormones for so much. I have been there for her all through her pregnancy(she is due 8/22) and have waited on her hand and foot and this is the thanks I get. Anyway, that's all I have for now. Keep praying and perhaps if you haven't seen it already, watch that Fireproof movie with your bf and maybe that will bring you closer together. Watch it and you will understand. God bless you.


Floricica - June 16

When I was pregnant, I would change every single day. One day I was happy, the next I was depressed, the next p__sed off at the world. I cut off friends and familly. I would just get mad at my bf every day. He stuck around but let me tell you it wasn't me at all. I mean you know when your so angry you want to hit the wall? Thats the feeling that I had. My bf knew I was acting the way I was cuz I was pregnant but he kept his distance from home for a little bit thats for sure. Being pregnant sucks. I hated being pregnant. It doesnt feel nice at all. And to sit there watching my man enjoy everything while I was suffering sucks and made me not want to be around him. I wanted to be alone because I couldnt stand watching everyone do normal things while I was suffering from hemeroids and fatness.


whitetailhunter - October 6

Me and my girlfriend got pregnant way to fast. Im pretty sure we got pregnant after the third week of dating.. Are relationship was GREAT.. we were in love.. loved being with each other, it was just all great.. untill she found out she was pregnant. Once she found out she was pregnant everything was. we talked about baby names and everything was going smooth.. after 2 weeks everything started changing.. she called me one night and wanted to talk. So i met her and she just wanted to take a break for a couple of weeks.. i was ok with that becaue i didnt figure it was going to be like a day and we would be right back together.. she told me that she needed a break because we were arguing about things, and we couldent agree on anything.. ill admit there was a few things that we could not agree on.. Anyway the next two days i didnt hear anything from her so i started to get worried, and i called her and she pretty much told me that she did not want to be with me anymore that she just wanted me to take care of her and the baby.. i told her that me and you need to work on things to if there is such a problem.. she said she didnt want to work on anything right now that she just wanted to be alone.. well a week later i moved back in with her and it went down down from there... and i promiss i tryed every lil thing i could think of to make her happy. but nuttin worked i did not argue about anything waht ever she said.. i told her that was ok and thats the way will do it.. i took over all her bills so she didnt have to worry about money or bills.. i would ask her if she wanted me to rub her back.. id do dishes, close, anything that i could think of to make her happy and it just keep on getting worse. she stayed in the same bed as me the first night and the rest of the week she stayed on the couch... i just dont know why all of this is happening i am trying everything i can try... i started asking other ppl if i am doing something wrong or if im not doing something that i should be and no one can help... i love this gurl more then anything in the world and want us and this baby to have a good like together.. i dont want a boken home and i just dont know waht to do to help us.. 2 weeks before she found out she was pregnant, she though i was the greatest guy that could have ever come into her life and always telling me im never leaving her... what happen... i have not talk to her in a few days or stayed with her in a few weeks but she has told me a few times that i have not done anything wrong.. and she dont know why she dont want me around but she just doesnt at all.. she just wants to be alone.. i just hope she dont want to raise this baby by her self cause i want us to have a wonderful life together.... but she has told me a few times that she wants me to be part of this baby life and will never keep the baby from me.. but what happen to us.. it was everything a guy could ask for then turned to the coldest relationship you could ever be in ... i just love her soooooo much and want a great life with her but nuttin is helping. she just does not want me in her life right now at all but she does want me to be in the babys life when the baby gets here.. she even tells me when the baby apointments are and i went on the first one today and she seemed fine and happy... but it was easy to tell we were not together... i do not understand how your relationship can be the best you could ask for and 2 weeks after you get pregnant she dont want you anymore and will not call or even try to make it work... i have run out of things to say to her and try for us.. she even told me to move on that she was not treating me right and i could do better... but i dont want anyone else just her and are baby thats on the way...if she just knew how bad this has hurt me staying up alll night with no sleep hating to go to work... its killing me tha we are not together.... as of today she will tell me she dont know why she is like this and does not know why she dont want me but she just wants to be by her self....i know once she found out she was pregnant she has pushed untill we are no longer talking and she told me if me and her dont work she will not be with another guy..i just love her and cant figure out if she was sooooo into me after finding out she is pregnant why push me so far away.. if you have any idea what is wrong will you please try and help me please


whitetailhunter - October 6

this suxs


TAG_reno - October 15

This does suck. I myself have been goin thru this same exact thing for the past 2 weeks. But the thing that sucks the most about my situation is this is a long distance relationship and it hurts to not know why things are like this.... i hate this and idk what to do....



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