Pregnancy Info HOME

Please dont be sad, yes its overwhelming to start with, but the best thing i was told by a midwife was to do what i think is best. My daughter is 4 weeks old and i love it, my dh is away for amonth and i just follow my heart, after a week at the begginning ofd trying to let her cry etc, i found the best thing is to make my daughter happy, i feed her lots in the day, cuddle her, sit and talk to her, doing heads sholdres knees toes, she sleeps all night and is happy

You poor thing, the most important thing to do is always trust your motherly instincts. books, guides are just opinions and ideas of what to do with your child. You do what is best and works well for your child. Only go with what makes you comfortable. What is right for some may not be right for you. Relax, do what works for your baby, and try to enjoy your son. That is most important. You will not screw your child up by using one book and not another.My advice is to always comfort your child, especially one that young. My son sleeps with me. It works for us, but not for others. And if you do something that is not the popular opinion, so be it. You are his mother and believe it or not, you do know best. Good luck to you. It does get better!

What you should do! Take a deep breath. Let it out. Do it again. Now, ignore everyone (except me!). FIrst off - sleeping. How does your son sleep the best? How does he fall asleep quickest, and where does he sleep longest? That's how you should put him to sleep, and that's where he should sleep, until he's a bit older, and you feel comfortable changing it. Next issue: Crying. At 3 weeks, babies cry from needs, not wants. He's crying because he's hungry, tired, dirty, wet, cold, or hot. Solve the issue, and he won't cry.

i also let my daughter go sleep on the b___b then put her to bed, if she wakes up in the night she will go back to sleep on her own, so that puts the theory out the window that she would need b___b again to sleep, i just figre do what makes her happy at this stage, shes not a clever toddler yet!

My daughter jusst let out a very large burp, which reminded me of a need I failerd to mention: the baby will cry if he's ga__sy.

Thanks guys! I was letting my son fall asleep in my arms and then putting him in his ba__sinet. I guess I'm worried that if he gets used to that, he'll ALWAYS need to fall asleep that way. He doesn't sleep through the night either. He wakes up about every 3 hours. I was a__suming it was because he's hungry, so I feed him. I love him so much, and I just want him to be happy. Why is it so hard for me?

It's hard because you are a good mom and just want to do the best for your baby. In the first few months, its mostly about survival! LOL!! Do what works! They usually do get up to eat that much at night. My 3 month old still get up to eat 1-2 times at night. All babies are different. I have to rock my son to sleep, or he will not go to sleep. I have no problem with it. You will be okay, I promise!

If he's waking in the night, you're right to a__sume he's hungry!!! Most babies don't sleep through the night until they're a few months old. Keep your head up, cause it DOES get easier!!! And, honestly, it sounds like you're doing a great job.

as much as i totally love my baby, in those first weeks, i'd wake up with a nervous stomache right at the start of each day, and i could not control it. i had the same fears and felt guilty, cause i ttced for this child for so long, but it does get better and easier, and the knot in my gut has dissappeared, and you will get to know your little one, and his likes and dislikes soon enough. everything is still new, but by 3 months they are much less fragile, and start to communicate, which will be fun for you both. hold on, i think any new mom can relate to what you are feeling.

So Sad- I am in the same boat as you. I am on information overload. I got a book from a friend that I was loosely following, and then read a bunch of terrible criticisms about it, which scared me. I keep hearing all of the conflicting advice, but I had been warned about that. Maybe there is no perfect or right way. I think you have to do what is best for you, your baby, and a particular situation. Last night I felt like nothing I did was right and my three week old kept crying despite having a clean diaper, being burped and fed, not being too hot or cold, etc. He cried being held and rocked and lying in his crib. I finally put him in the crib, shut the door, went to my room, set the alarm for 15 minutes later and waited. He finally quieted down after about 10 minutes of strong crying and slept for four hours. Go figure. Strangely, I still feel kind of badly about it, but I thought if he was still at it after 15 minutes, I'd go back to him and check everything again. I don't know if what I did was "right", but we both got some sleep, I feel a million times better today, and in turn, feel like I can be a better mom for him today. I am sure the doubts will still come and go, but we are in a learning process, and I think doubt is a big part of that. Just remember you are not alone and a lot of us feel like you do, too.

I was the same when my baby was only a few weeks. I would get anxious every time she cried, and would rush to pick her up, whilst everyone else was teeling me to let her cry. I was so afraid of doing the wrong thing. It's partly your hormones that make you feel so bad. It will get easier I promise! Just try to relax more and go with YOUR instincts. You will start to find your own way and take everybody elses advice with a pinch of salt. It's very early days, and you and baby need more time to get to know each other. I used to talk and smile at Nadya when she was awake, and tell her how much I loved her, that kind of thing. After 5 weeks, she started to smile back, and it all started to get much easier to know when she was happy. I know it seems like you're at the end of your tether now, but it won't last for long. I'm sure you're doing fine. :)

For me, the worst part was struggling through every day, slaving away for what seemed like an ungrateful brat who was never happy no matter what I did for her...and then, one day, when she was about 5 weeks old, she smiled at me. I literally broke down and cried, because for the first time since she was born, I felt like I was doing something right.

You should get that book, What to expect the first year. It's a great book for first time mom's, which I am. I read it from front to back and it relieved a lot of my worries before Emma was born. I asked my midwife yesterday if you can spoil a baby by holding her, sleeping with her, and she said NO! At least not until they're 4 months old and she said it's not even really a matter of spoiling them. It's more of a habit. Of course if she's used to sleeping next to her warm mommy and then put in a crib she might cry but it's not cus she's spoiled. It's out of habit. You're doing a great job and do what you feel is right. Emma is 7 wks old and I still let her fall asleep in my arms cus I enjoy the precious moment with her. I do put her in her crib awake after feeding her and if she doesn't cry I leave her in there until she falls asleep. At about 6 wks old she stopped wanting to eat every three hours at night and now it's just once at night and then early in the morning to nurse. So don't worry. Ask as many questions as you want too. I'd of pulled my hair out by now if it wasn't for this site!!!