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Thank you for sharing that with me - that is very personal and I hope it hasn't brought up any hurt. You aren't old - I am older than you are!! I have my son who just turned 3. It was not an easy road to get him, I had two losses and a myomectomy before giving birth to him. Then we just kind of settled down and accepted that this was going to be it. When I realized that the old clock was ticking very loudly we tried again - not really trying for the first two months, but the third month we did - every other day! That was it. I think we know that it probably was genetic - this last loss, but for me if I don't try one more time it would mean that fear made me give up. I know that is not how it is for you - but it would be for me & today I have to walk through fear and know that there is a power greater than that which I fear. The outcome, however is going to be the part I have to let go of and trust --- whatever it ends up being. Thanks for being here and listening to me ramble, Melissa!

Nancy/Melissa - Good to hear from you guys. Nancy, Melissa made a good point... every woman's body is totally different when it comes to all these things that we have to deal with. While it took her about 2 weeks for the bleeding to stop after her m/c, it took me only 1 week. I have also heard of women taking 3-4 weeks (ouch!). It is SOOO hard when no one can tell us excaclty when things will happen. My personal opinion about TTC again is that you should go for it if you want another child... despite your age. My neighbor is 42 and she is a MD. She and her husband started trying for their first child several months ago. While she knows (being in the medical field) that she is at higher risk for complications, she also knows that she is capable still of having a child. I think you should go with whatever you feel is right. The update on my end is not too good unfortunately. I am now in my 9th week and I am still waiting to miscarry. What is worst is that I am leaving the country in less than 2 weeks and my dr. wants me to have ANOTHER D & C before I leave to ensure that there are no complications when I am gone. My hubby doesn't want me to have another one and I have mixed feelings on it. Once again, it is the battle with time that I have to face. Never did I think time would be my nemesis! LOL Melissa, I think it is a great thing that you come back to these boards and provide your support after the fact. I am sure that so many women appreciate your support. Nancy, please keep us posted on your progress.

Cristina - are you sure that your baby is not thriving? Have they done another u/s? I know that it can take up to several months for the body to release the baby, that is what my dr told me, but I can not help asking you if they know it's for sure. And it is nice that the two of you are here and that you ((Melissa)) come back to share your story - it has been one of my most supportive tools and I appreciate both of you and your honesty more than I can say.

Unfdortunately I am pretty sure. Two weeks straight my HcG levels dropped. Then I stopped going back to get them checked since my dr. said that it was not going to last. The other thing is, I get really bad mornign sickness with pregnancies (this is my 4th and I have one child out of the 4). And so far there are no signs of morning sickness.... so my levels are probably continuing to drop. I would of opted for another D & C, but since I just had one, I feel that the best thing is to give my body a break. I am really wishing though that I would be at your stage in the game which is post D & C and at the point where my hubby and I could TTC again. You are over the worst hump.... which is a good place to be. Keep us posted on your TTC. :-)

Sorry! I put your name Nancy instead of mine in the above message.... I was trying to respond to you but I accidentally put your name in the wrong field.... -Cristina

I had my last period Nov 1st. Is it bad not to have started yet? Nov 1st was my first period since my miscarriage. How regular were any of you? I was worried I was preg again because I have been getting dizzy like before so I took a preg test this morning and it tested neg. Any advice or comments?

Hi KP! I remember you from earlier postings.... I think you and I m/c around the same time. If you m/c at the beginning of October and then had your first visit by AF at the beginning of Nov & have not gotten it again since, I would tend to think that you have a good chance of being pg. Where you TTC again? What I recommend is that you wait a few more days and try taking a test again. With some of the pg tets, your hcG levels has to be above a 100 for it to test positive (some you can buy are more sensitive and can detect earlier). There is, of course, a chance that you are not as well and your cycle could be acting whacky. A common symptom after m/c. Keep us posted....

Cristina, Thanks. We are not exactly ttc. We were very excited about the first one but were worried about our situation. My husband still has one year of Vet Med school. I am student teaching in early childhood (grad in may). I love kids and plan on being a stay at home mom. I want a baby so bad and we were so excited. I want to be preg but I am scared for things to go bad again. We are still trying to pay off med bills from the m/c. Part of me hopes I am not preg, but the other part wants to be so bad!

KP, I don't think you are in bad situation if you do end up pregnant again. The baby wouldn't be due until around July (you would be done with school) and by then your hubby would only have a few more months of school left. If you do end up pregnant, don't worry about that part of it.... Worrying won't do much good. On the contrary, take that one side of you that wants to be prego and rejoice it! Wait a few more days and if AF doesn't arrive, try taking the test again. Perhaps you can try one of the early testing ones and if that one comes out negative, then you should be in the clear. Good luck and keep us posted on yoru results! :-)

Hi Cristina - I couldn't stop thinking about everything you are going through and I wanted to tell you about something I read on-line at pregnancyloss.info and it said that after a d&c a person can still get a possitive on a pregnancy test/blood test because all of the hcg has not yet left the body and it can take awhile to drop to zero. I am sorry for being so in your business, but after reading about all of that I just couldn't stop thinking about your situation. I know I shouldn't recommend what other people should do, but I was just wondering if maybe you could go in for another u/s just to see what is going on - please forgive me if I am out of line I just can't help thinking that maybe your baby is okay, or maybe your doctor made a mistake! - or maybe I'm just totally hormonal and have the need to mother someone! Take care.

Nancy -- After many hours of internet research on m/c, I thought to check back to this site. It is refreshing to read your email and I am certainly perfectly fine with your recommendations...:-) Honestly, I am getting to the point of confusion and frustration now. According to my calendar, I am heading into my 11th week of pregnancy. I had two days last week of spotting which wasn't even enough spotting for a panty liner. No symptoms at all since then. I have no idea why it is taking so long for my body to m/c. Anyhow, I looked up some things and one possibility is that I might have a "missed m/c" which basically means the fetus died but my body is not ridding of it. I took progesterone supplements at the beginning for one week so I wonder if that has anything at all to do with the length of time it is taking. I am now leaning towards another D & C since next week I leave the country for 5 weeks (I would rather have my dr. perform the D & C than a foreign one). But one thing that I completely agree with you on is that I just need that one last test done to give myself peace of mind... I am going to call my dr. tomorrow (offices were closed today because Dallas had an ice storm!) and tell her that I will schedule the D & C but I request/demand a blood test or sono prior to. I hate to be hopeful though.... especially since I have no signs of pregnancy. I think I am just so frustrated because I have been grieving for so many months (my last D & C was in October at 9 weeks). It is driving me a little nuts to tell you the truth... Thank you for your support and recommendation. I will definitely get some kind of test done before the surgery! Will let you know the outcome....

Cristina - I am hoping you get good news from you visit with the dr. Remember, you are paying him so he works for you so ask for any tests you want! (I would ask for all of them) I think one of the reasons I'm so insistant these days with the dr's because when I was over 5 months pregnant the doctor I had didn't do testing or speak with me about anything and that pregnancy was so hard. I had bleeding throughout. Once the doctor's midwife told me I had fibroids and asked if the dr had discussed it with me (it was after an u/s) but she had not. I ended up losing the baby - not a still birth, but a live birth and I vowed not to just accept everything at face value. That it is all right for me to ask questions, just not dictate my own care. If I do everything I am suppose to do and then let go of the outcome, it seems to be the right way to go for me. I do hope the best for you. Take care & hope to hear from you soon!

Cristina - I was just thinking of you and hope all is well. Please know that you are in my thoughts and I am hoping to hear from you soon!

Sorry everyone! I was unable to log in for a few days! I've read the updates - Christina/Nancy - keeping you guys in my thoughts and prayers...

Hi guys!! It's been a couple of days since I have written and a lot has changed since then. On Friday I went in to get my levels checked one last time. Since I am leaving this Friday out of the country, I figured I really needed to schedule the D & C if this pregnancy was not going to make it. Results came back and sure enough, they were dropping --but not at a fast rate. So the m/c was not going to take place soon enough. Needless to say, I had my D & C this morning. When I woke up from my surgery I felt great... I thought to myself, I can put this behind me (again) and move on! Then my dr. came in and gave me some not so good news. She said that there was only about 10-20% of the tissue she normally would see with a D & C. Then she proceeded to inform me that there is a chance that this pregnancy was ectopic. Well c___p! Anyhow, tomorrow the lab results come back and they will be able to tell me if it is ectopic or not. If it is, I have two choices: 1) I can have a salpingotomy (they go in through my fallopian tube to remove the tissue or 2) I can take methotrexate to help it rid itself. I knew all along that this pregnancy was not a good one so I didn't have a good outlook on it, but I am really trying to be as positive as possible on the outcome of tomorrow's results. I don't know if my body would be able to take two D & C's back to back and then another surgery too! Will post tomorrow with the results. Thanks Nancy & Melissa for checking in and being there... How are you guys doing?

Christina - I'm so sorry to hear that all of that is going on. I'm sure the stress of traveling soon is on your mind. I'm sure you've researched like crazy, but I found this on a website about the 2 scenarios you described: "Moreover, methotrexate may be superior because of its simplicity: in those situations where laparoscopic salpingotomy failure rates exceed 15% , it may be desirable to use a technique for which laparoscopic surgery skills are not required" - Let us know, keep us updated and we'll keep our thoughts with you!