Sex Problems

Sex is often a cause for concern for pregnant women. Throughout pregnancy, women undergo a variety of physical and emotional changes, and these changes can affect the way you perceive, enjoy, and experience sex. You and your partner may have a lot of questions about sex and sexuality during pregnancy, but you may not know exactly where to look. Well, here are some of the most common questions that pregnant women have when it comes to sex during pregnancy.

Is sex safe during pregnancy?
Though sex may seem like a rough ride for baby it is, in fact, completely safe for your little one, Unless your doctor advises against it, you and your partner can have safe, monogamous sex right up until your water breaks. The mucus plug that blocks your cervix protects your baby from any infections that may be introduced when you are having intercourse. The amniotic sac that your baby develops in will also protect him from any bumps that may occur during sexual intercourse. Your baby might move around a bit after you have an orgasm, but this is not because he is in pain or any discomfort. It is merely because your heartbeat rises when you experience orgasm. And don’t worry – your baby cannot see what is going on between you and your partner.

What about oral and anal sex?
Oral and anal sex are also safe during pregnancy, as long as you take the appropriate precautions to prevent the spread of STDs. Use a dental dam during oral sex to prevent passing any infections and don’t forget to use a condom during anal sex. During oral sex, be sure your partner doesn’t blow any air into your vagina. Though extremely rare, this air can cause an air bubble to get into your blood stream, threatening both you and your baby. Proceed slowly with anal sex, particularly during the third trimester. Be sure to stop if you feel any pain.

My partner’s interested in sex, but I’m not. Is this normal?
Many women find that they experience changes in their sex drive throughout their pregnancy. So, if you are finding that you just aren’t all that interested in sex lately, try not to worry too much. Many women find sex a complete turn off, especially in the early and later stages of pregnancy. Pregnancy symptoms, like morning sickness and headaches, can really decrease your enjoyment of sex, contributing to a low libido. As your stomach grows larger, sex may become more uncomfortable, and it can be difficult to find satisfying positions for both you and your partner. Pregnancy can also be hard on your self-esteem, particularly if you feel uncomfortable with the way your body is changing.

You will probably find that your sex drive will begin to return as your pregnancy progresses and you become more used to the physical changes you are undergoing. Talking with your partner about your feelings and expressing intimacy in alternative ways to help you feel more sexually aroused and just generally more sexy.

My partner doesn’t find me sexy anymore. What can I do?
Many women worry that their partners won’t find their pregnant bodies attractive. Though some men may be put off by a pregnant body, most find their partners to be extremely sexy during pregnancy. Throughout pregnancy your body will change, particularly your breasts and stomach. Most men love these new curves and are turned on by the fact that they are having sex with a pregnant woman. However, you may still be worried about whether or not your partner is attracted to you. If you are concerned about how your partner is reacting, it is important to discuss this with him. Talk to him about your feelings and discuss ways that you can make your sex life more comfortable and intimate.

What are the best sexual positions during pregnancy?
As you progress through your pregnancy, you may find that the old positions you used during sex may not be suitable anymore. Certain sex positions may put too much pressure on your uterus or stomach, causing you discomfort or pain. Other positions can be awkward because of the size and shape of your pregnant belly. Here are some of the more comfortable positions to try out:

• Woman on Top: If you straddle your partner, your stomach will be supported and you will be able to control the depth and frequency of thrusting.
• Sideways: If you and your partner lie on your sides facing one another, you will find that sex is much more intimate. Your stomach will also be supported by the mattress, allowing for easier penetration.
• Sitting: The sitting position is often overlooked during sexual intercourse, however, it can be very satisfying during pregnancy. All your partner has to do is sit in a sturdy chair while you straddle him. This allows for easier and more comfortable penetration.

Can I use sex toys during pregnancy?
Sex toys can be completely safe and lots of fun to use throughout your pregnancy. As long as you are experiencing a healthy and uncomplicated pregnancy, there is no reason why you shouldn’t use a sex toy, such as a vibrator, for penetrative and non-penetrative sex. However, it is important that you always keep your sex toys clean, in order to reduce your risk of infection. Never insert a sex toy into your vagina if it has already been in your anus. Use condoms on all of your sex toys, and switch condoms every time you insert the toy into a different orifice. Wash your sex toys after every use and never share your sex toys with others.

I have been having a lot of sexual fantasies lately. Is this normal during pregnancy?
Some women find that pregnancy is a time filled with erotic sexual fantasies and dreams. Though you may find this embarrassing or unnerving, erotic dreams are completely normal throughout pregnancy. The extra blood circulating to your vagina, your enlarged breasts, and the increased vaginal secretion that you experience in pregnancy all contribute to an increase in your sex drive. While you sleep, your subconscious may reflect this new desire for sex in the form of erotic dreams. It is important not to take these dreams and fantasies too literally; instead, try to enjoy them. If they are bothering you, you may want to write them down and speak to your partner or a friend about them.

Have a concern about sex during pregnancy? Get advice from other moms-to-be in the forum